


How We Survive is What Makes us Who We are

by DarkAliceLilith



Series: How We Survive is What Makes Us Who We Are [1]
Category: Spartacus Series (TV)
Genre: M/M, Spartacus Big Bang, past child abuse (both sexually and psychically)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-21
Updated: 2013-01-21
Packaged: 2017-11-26 08:53:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/648811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkAliceLilith/pseuds/DarkAliceLilith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern Day AU. At eighteen years old, Nasir is an inspiring photographer. He’s currently going to college, while making a living working at his best friend’s studio. Things are going great until Naevia asks him to help her photograph her husband’s police squad. He grew up around the squad, but now he was eighteen and one of the police officers is noticing him. Agron and Nasir start a relationship, but Nasir’s past keeps him from becoming too intimate and personal with his boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For the Spartacus Big Bang over on Livejournal.  
> A special thanks to Diva0789 who edited this for me. :D

Nasir adjusted his camera as a mother fussed with her child who had to have been around two and did not want to stay still. It was getting close to Christmas time and he had been doing a lot of photo sessions with children. He hated children. They were loud, fussy and it took way too long to get them to settle down for a couple of pictures.

The mother finally stepped away and Nasir snapped a few pictures. When the session was over, he took the memory chip out of his camera and put it into the computer for the mother to pick out her favorites. This took longer than taking the pictures.

When the mother finally decided, he entered her information and had told her they would call when the photos were ready. The mother left and Nasir let out a heavy sigh before going into the backroom where Naevia was printing out photographs. She looked up when he came in. “You look exhausted.”

“Cause I just spent the past five hours dealing with children,” Nasir replied, flopping down on the couch they had back there. “Why do you hate me so much?”

“Oh quit being a drama queen,” Naevia replied. “If you want to be a famous photographer, then you are going to have to deal with children first because some people are very childish and immature when it comes to taking photos.”

“I still hate children, why do you want them?”

“Because I love them,” Naevia replied. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready for the next shoot?”

“They canceled this morning.”

“Oh. So Spartacus called about getting the police squad to do a calendar again.”

“I know, I had dinner over there last weekend and he was talking about it,” Nasir replied. He had been adopted by Spartacus and his wife, Sura, when he was twelve after rescuing him from an abusive step-father. “And you want help, don’t you?”

“You read my mind,” Naevia said. “Anyways, I was thinking that this year we should go to the police station and do the photos there.”

“Sounds like a good idea,” Nasir replied. “Would you like me to call Spartacus and ask?”

“That would be awesome.”

“I’ll call him tonight.”

“Thank you!”

__________________________________________

 

Nasir walked into the police station and up to Spartacus’ office. He knocked a couple of times before Spartacus called out for him to come in. He opened the door and leaned in. “I just wanted to let you know that I was here.”

Spartacus waved him in. “Is Naevia here yet?”

Nasir shrugged. “I didn’t see her, but she was also grabbing some things when I left.”

“Do you want to get started?”

“I would.”

“Who would you like to start with?”

“You if you don’t mind.”

Spartacus sat up a little straighter and smiled. “Sure thing.”

By the time Nasir was done photographing Spartacus, Naevia had showed up. “Sorry, my car didn’t want to start.”

“Then why didn’t you call me?”

“Because I figured that you would have gotten started so why delay you?”

“I only got Spartacus,” Nasir replied.

“Well, it’s a good start,” Naevia said. “Now, let’s split everyone up and take pictures.”

“Aye aye captain,” Nasir said, walking over to Varro.

Around two o’clock, they were finally on their last officers to photograph. There were going to be a couple different versions of the calendars made, so having a lot of photos were a good thing. Nasir was tapped on his shoulder as he was changing the memory chip in his camera. He looked over his shoulder to see Agron. “Is it my turn?”

Nasir smiled and nodded. “Yeah. Got anything special in mind for your month?”

“Has anyone gone to the shooting range yet?”

“A couple, but there’s no reason we can’t do another.”

Nasir put his things in his bag and followed Agron down to the shooting range. Agron grabbed his gun out of its holster and stood at one of the booths, hitting a button to bring up a target. Nasir tried his best not to check Agron out.

Since he was sixteen, he thought Agron was very, very attractive. But Agron was seven years older than him and on his father’s squad. There was no way anything could come out of it.

Nasir took his camera out and turned it back on. He snapped a few pictures of Agron pretending to shoot the target in a couple of different angles. He had an idea and lowered his camera. “I want to try something. Could you actually shoot the gun?”

Agron’s eyes widened slightly. “Think you can get the bullet in the picture?”

“I can try.”

Agron nodded and grabbed two ear muffs, he handed one to Nasir. “Put this on, please.” Agron then put a pair of safety goggles on and aimed at the target once more. “Ready?”

“Ready.”

Agron started shooting, and Nasir snapped a lot of pictures. When finished, Agron put everything away while Nasir went through a couple of the pictures. “The pictures look great, Agron.”

“Of course they are, you’re the one who took them.”

Nasir felt his cheeks heat up and he turned his camera off. “Thank you for taking the time to do these.”

“Anything for a great cause.”

“I’ll see you later, Agron.”

“Yeah, see you later.”

Nasir started walking and was about to go up the stairs when Agron laid his hand on his shoulder. Nasir turned to look at him. “Yes?”

“Do you-do you think we could go have lunch sometime?” Agron asked. “Together?”

Nasir looked at Agron in shock. “Lunch?”

“Yeah, lunch.”

Nasir could feel his cheek burning. Was Agron asking him out on a date? Slowly, he nodded and smiled at Agron. “Yeah, lunch would be great. Just shoot me a text when you’re free.”

“I don’t have your number and I would prefer not to ask Spartacus for it.”

Nasir laughed. “Scared of my father?”

Agron shook his head and pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it over to Nasir. Nasir typed his number in before handing it back. “Thank you and I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah, see you soon.”

Nasir went back upstairs and found Naevia by Crixus’ desk. “Ready?”

Naevia nodded. “Yep, let’s go.”

Nasir smiled at Agron as he walked passed him, and Agron smiled back. Something that didn’t go unnoticed by Naevia. Once they were back at the shop, she brought it up. “So, what’s with the look between you and Agron?”

“What? Nothing,” Nasir replied a little too quickly.

“Tell me.”

“It’s nothing, Naevia! We’re just going out to lunch to get to know each other better.”

“Really? And how does Spartacus feel about that?”

“I don’t know,” Nasir replied. “I don’t tell him everything.”

“Does he know how you feel about Agron?”

“Fuck no!” Nasir said. “There is no way in hell that I could tell him that I am attracted to someone on his squad.”

“He’s going to find out eventually.”

“Well, I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.”

Naevia nodded and took a sip of her coffee. “So, do you think it’s going to go anywhere? You and him?”

Nasir shrugged. “For all I know, Agron just wants to be friends.”

“Either way, I hope you two have fun.”

“Yeah, me too.”

______________________________________

 

Nasir walked into the small dinner that he and Agron had agreed to meet at. It’s been two days since the pictures were taken, and Agron had texted him the day after.

Agron was sitting by a window and when he spotted Nasir, he waved him over. Nasir sat down across from him. “Hey.”

“Hey, I didn’t think you were going to show.”

“Sorry, my last client took longer than I expected.”

“It’s alright,” Agron replied. “You’re here now.”

“Yeah.”

They sat there in an awkward silence; neither had spoken much since Agron had joined Spartacus’ squad. Agron took a deep breath before speaking. “Thank you for agreeing to lunch.”

“I’m glad you asked,” Nasir replied with a smile.

Agron smiled back. “I-I wanted to ask you to lunch before, but I thought it would be a little awkward with you being a teenager and all.”

“I have lunch with the others on the squad; it would not have been that awkward.”

“Well, I’m gay,” Agron confessed. “And you are the son of my boss, so it would have been.”

Nasir laughed. “Yeah, it probably would have been. So it’s your day off?”

Agron nodded. “One of the few that I have. And you?”

“I have a couple of clients later, but I’m pretty much free all day.”

“Do you go to college?”

Nasir nodded. “I’m a freshman right now.”

“And is it going well?”

Again, Nasir nodded. “It’s going great. I really like the classes that I have.”

“What classes do you have?”

“Psychology, writing, algebra and a graphic design class,” Nasir replied. “I only want to take a few at a time. I don’t want to overwhelm myself.”

“So are you going for photography or something else?”

“Photography is my minor,” Nasir answered. “But I’m going to try to get a degree in psychology and maybe help out the police squad, like Sura does.”

“You are so much like her.”

“Well, she is my mother,” Nasir said.

“What of your birth mother?” Agron asked. “If you don’t mind me asking?”

Nasir looked out the window. “She and my brother died in a car accident when I was seven.”

“I’m sorry.”

Nasir shook his head. “It was a long time ago. I’m over it now.”

“Still, no one deserves to lose family in such horrible ways.”

Nasir looked back over. “I forgot you lost your brother, didn’t you?”

Agron nodded. “Got shot trying to protect my dumbass. Died in my arms before they could even call the ambulance.”

“I’m sorry, Agron.”

“I loved him,” Agron said. “He meant the world to me.”

Hesitantly, Nasir reached over and placed his hand on Agron’s arm. “I am sure that when the afterlife finally calls for you, he will be there waiting for you.”

Agron smiled. “Thank you.”

Nasir smiled back. “This is probably not a very appropriate time, but you have a very pretty smile.”

Agron laughed. “I’m never appropriate.”

“As I’m told,” Nasir replied. “When I was still living with Spartacus, he would come home and tell us stories. I recall one involving a male stripper.”

Agron’s face turned red. “It was my birthday!!!”

Nasir nodded, still smiling. “I know. Who do you think helped with that one?”

Agron’s eyes widened. “You put that idea in Spartacus’ head?”

Again, Nasir nodded. “Yep. That was me.”

Agron laughed loudly, earning a few stares. “Oh payback is a bitch, Nasir. You remember that.” Agron smiled and winked at him, letting Nasir know that he was only kidding.

“Should I be scared?”

Agron only smiled and took a sip of his drink. The waitress came over and took their orders. Agron chatted about himself and Nasir listened, smiling as the man spoke about living in Germany. He was just talking about a prank he and Duro pulled while they were at the academy when the waitress came back with their food.

“Anyways,” Agron continued. “Duro’s roommate was not very amused.”

Nasir laughed. “I wouldn’t be happy with either. It sounds like you and Duro were quite the troublemakers.”

Agron nodded. “We were a handful growing up. I still wonder how my parents put up with us.”

Nasir took a bite of his sandwich. “I don’t remember much of my brother. He was eight years older than me and was hardly ever home. Not that I blame him.”

“It sounds like you had a better life with Spartacus and Sura.”

“I did,” Nasir replied. “Even when I was a rebellious little bastard.”

“You were rebellious?”

“When I first came to live with them,” Nasir replied. “But I quickly grew out of it. Believe it or not, Sura can be extremely strict when she needs to be.”

“Sura? You’re kidding. She’s the nicest women I’ve ever met.”

“She is, but that does not mean that she isn’t tough. And I really was horrible when I first came to live with them. I honestly don’t understand how they didn’t just ship me back.”

“But you calmed down.”

“Eventually.”

They finished their food and Agron paid for it, much to Nasir’s protest. “You can pay next time,” Agron said as he handed his credit card over to the waitress. “Ok?”

Nasir nodded after a couple of seconds. “Ok.”

They left the restaurant and Agron walked Nasir to his car. “So, do you think we could do this again sometime?”

Nasir nodded and smiled at him. “I would love to.”

Agron smiled back. “Great, I’ll let you know when my next day off is.”

“Can’t wait,” Nasir replied, as he got into his car.

“See you then,” Agron said, waving when Nasir drove away.

_________________________________

 

“So, how did the date go?” Naevia asked when Nasir arrived at work later that night.

“It wasn’t a date,” Nasir replied, sitting down on the couch. “It was just lunch.”

Naevia rolled her eyes. “Whatever, how did lunch go then?”

“Great. We talked a lot and he asked to see me again.”

“And?”

“And I told him yeah.”

“Aww, Nasir is getting a boyfriend.”

Nasir’s cheeks went red and he threw a pillow at her. “Shut up!”

“What?”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Not yet.”

“Naevia!”

Naevia laughed. “I’m sorry, but don’t you see it? He’s had his eyes on you ever since you turned eighteen, probably even before that. I know you’ve been eyeing him since he joined the squad. He’s a good guy, Nasir. I think you should go for it.”

“He’s seven years older than me.”

“So? You two seem to really like each other. Why should age matter? Or are you scared?”

Nasir stood up. “I need to get ready for my first client.”

“Nasir.”

“Naevia-”

“Don’t let your past run your future. Agron would never harm you like that.”

Nasir left the backroom and made his way to his work space. He set up his camera and waited for the couple he was photographing to arrive.

A few days later, Agron called him and asked him to go see a movie with him. Nasir agreed and the following weekend, Agron picked Nasir up at his apartment and they drove to the movie theater. Agron paid for the tickets and Nasir insisted on paying for snacks.

Agron seemed to share Nasir’s love for horror movies, so they were seeing Silent Hill: Revelations. Nasir had been eager to see it, but none of his friends wanted to so he was glad that Agron invited him to see it.

They took their seats in the back of the theater and munched on their popcorn as the previews began. They would lean over after each preview and yay or nay it. After the last preview, Agron did move away and he rested his hand on the armrest between them.

Nasir would look over and stare at Agron’s hand and shortly before the first character was killed in the film, Nasir rested his own hand over Agron’s. He jumped when felt Agron’s hand turn under his and intertwine their fingers.

He looked down at their hands before looking at Agron who was smiling and still watching the movie. Nasir smiled and looked back at the screen, feeling his heart race and his cheeks flush.

When the movie was over, Agron pulled his hand away and they left the theater chatting about the movie, and how the first one had been better till they got back to Nasir’s apartment. Agron walked Nasir to his place and they stood outside the door as Nasir fished his keys out of his pocket.

“So, I had fun today,” Agron said. “I’m really glad that you went with me.”

“No problem,” Nasir replied, looking up at Agron. “I had fun too.”

Agron opened his mouth to say something and then shut it, shifting his weight from one foot to another. He looked nervous and Nasir thought he looked cute with a slight blush on his face. He smiled softly at him. “Well, if you want you can come inside and-”

Agron interrupted Nasir by leaning in and gently kissing him. When he pulled back, he smiled a question in his eyes. Nasir smiled back, “So, does this mean we’re dating now?” Nasir asked, with a chuckle.

“I was going to ask,” Agron replied. “But I got nervous and kissed you instead.”

“My answer is yes, if yours is.”

“Yes.”

They kissed again and Nasir wrapped his arms around Agron, hugging him. “I say our next date should be another movie. I’ll pay.”

Agron hugged him back. “It’s a deal.”

“So do you want to come inside? I think I have some leftovers, or we could order in some pizza?”

“Pizza sounds great.”

Nasir opened the door and let Agron in before shutting it again. He grabbed out his phone and called Little Caesar’s and ordered a couple of pepperoni pizzas. Once he hung up he went into his kitchen. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Got any Coke?”

“Yes.”

“I would like one please.”

Nasir grabbed two bottles of Coke out of the fridge before he went into the front room and sat down on the couch next to Agron. “I honestly did not expect you to like me.”

“Why not?”

“Cause I’m so young,” Nasir replied. “And because of who my father is.”

“Can I be honest about something?”

Nasir nodded. “Of course.”

“I was attracted to you for a couple of years,” Agron replied. “I just hid it because you know, you were a teenager.”

“I still am.”

“But you’re eighteen. It’s different now.”

“I was crushing on you since you first arrived on the squad. The young handsome cop,” Nasir said with a laugh. “It was like straight out of one of Sura’s romance novels. Of course, you were way too old for me.”

Agron smiled. “I saw you eyeing me and the blush that appeared when I said hi to you. I thought it was adorable.” He reached out and brushed a stray strand of hair behind Nasir’s ear. “I had to force myself not to talk to you as much in fear that anyone caught on to how I felt. Especially Spartacus.” Agron leaned in and softly kissed Nasir. “I am so glad you felt the same.”

Nasir kissed him back and wrapped a hand around the back of Agron’s neck to keep him in place. It was just a couple of soft kisses before they were pulling away, their cheeks flushed. They looked at each other for a long moment before they were both leaning back in and kissing once more.

A knock on the door had them both breaking apart, breathing heavily. Remembering that he had ordered pizza, Nasir stood up and adjusted his pants which were feeling a little too tight. He went to the door and got the pizza before returning to the couch and placing the boxes on the coffee table. “Dinner is served.”

Nasir opened up the top box and pulled out a slice. Agron raised an eyebrow. “No plates?”

“Just don’t drop any crumbs on my couch.”

Agron shrugged and grabbed his own piece out of the box. “You are strange.”

“And you’re not?”

“Touché.”

“Want to watch a movie?”

“Sure, whatcha got?”

“A lot of Sci-fi and horror,” Nasir replied, getting up and grabbing his movie case. “Want to look?”

“Just pop something in,” Agron replied. “I don’t care what.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

Nasir put in the director’s cut of Alien before sitting back down. Agron flailed his arms when the menu popped up. “This is my favorite movie!” He leaned over and pressed a sloppy kiss to Nasir’s cheek. “I think I love you already.”

Nasir laughed. “I am so glad we share the same taste in movies.”

A couple hours later, Agron announced he had an early shift and had to leave. Nasir walked him to the door and they shared a kiss and a promise to hang out soon.

_______________________________________________

 

“Look at you! You’re glowing!” Naevia yelled out once he walked inside the studio. She ran towards him and grabbed his hand, leading him to the back room. “You must tell me everything!!”

She pushed him down onto the couch and sat beside him, eager to hear everything. Nasir shook his head. “Agron and I went to a movie then he walked me back up to my apartment and kissed me. After that we had pizza and watched a movie. That’s it.”

“That’s it?!”

Nasir nodded. “Sorry I’m so boring but that’s what happened.”

“At least you’re dating now,” Naevia said, patting him on the shoulder. “I don’t think I could have taken all the tension between you two anymore.”

“Tension? There was no tension.”

“If you say so,” Naevia said, getting up and going over to one of the computers. “Have you told Spartacus and Sura yet?”

Nasir shook his head. “Actually, you are the only person to know unless Agron told somebody.”

“You know that everyone will be happy for you right?”

Nasir shrugged. “Maybe I just want to keep this quiet for a while.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to so don’t tell anyone, alright?”

Naevia nodded, typing something on the computer. “I won’t, but is it because of the age difference or because he’s on your father’s squad?”

“Neither. I just like to keep things to myself sometimes. When I am ready to tell everyone, then I will. I mean, I’m not even sure if this will work out, so it might be better off to keep it quiet for a while.”

“Alright, but when you do come out, I am sure that everyone will support you.”

“Thanks, Naevia.”

_________________________________________

 

“I haven’t told anyone yet,” Agron said as they stood on a bride overlooking the river. They were both bundled up in multiple layers due to the cold weather. “I-I wasn’t sure if you were ready to or not.”

“Naevia knows,” Nasir replied. “That’s it.”

“Do you want to tell anyone?”

“I’m not worried about it,” Nasir answered. “I would like to keep this quiet for a while, but if people find out then they find out.”

Agron nodded. “Can I tell Donar?”

“If you want to.”

Agron reached over and took Nasir’s hand in his own. “Christmas is in a few weeks, will you be spending it with Spartacus and Sura?”

Nasir nodded. “Probably. Why?”

“My mom lives in Germany and Saxa will be with Mira.”

“Come with me. We don’t have to tell them, but you shouldn’t be alone on Christmas.”

“I don’t want to intrude.”

“And I don’t want you to be alone,” Nasir said, leaning against Agron. “Please come with me.”

Agron rested his cheek on Nasir’s head. “Ok.”

They stood there for a few minutes before it the wind started to blow again, making it even colder. Nasir shivered and Agron shrugged off his jacket, placing it around Nasir’s shoulders as they started to walk towards the restaurant they were having dinner at.

Nasir stopped and looked over at Agron. “Won’t you need this?”

Agron shook his head. “I’ll be fine.”

They got into the small Italian restaurant and a waiter immediately led them to a table. They each got a Coke, Agron’s being vanilla, before they looked over their menus. Nasir set his down first and looked around. It was dark inside, darker than most restaurants he’d been too but it was comfortable.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been here before.”

“And you’ve lived in Grand Ledge for how long?”

“When I come here I visit the Island and the Ledges and that’s about it,” Nasir replied.

“Duro and I got hungry one day and stumbled on this place,” Agron said. “The food is really good. I thought that you would like it, so it would be a great place for a date.”

Nasir smiled. “Having never been here before, how about you tell me what’s really good?”

The waiter came back over a few minutes later and Nasir went with Agron’s suggestion and got the lasagna to start off with. If they were going to come back again, then he would order a different thing every time.

Agron reached over the table once their waiter left and rested his hand over Nasir’s a smile on his face. “I have a confession to make,” Agron said. “This is the first time I’ve been here since Duro was killed.”

“Why?”

Agron nodded. “This was always mine and Duro’s place, and I couldn’t bear coming back without him.”

“Then why take me here?”

“Because I don’t want to dwell on his death anymore,” Agron whispered. “And-and when I spend time with you, I am truly happy. Happier than I’ve been in a long time. I know it’s a little early to get deep, but I mean it. You make me happy, Nasir and I want this to be a happy place again.”

Nasir smiled and turned his palm up to intertwine their fingers. “And it will be.”

After dinner, the couple walked back to Agron’s truck, which they had begun taking because Nasir’s car was too small for Agron to sit in comfortably. “Where to now?” Nasir asked.

“My place?” Agron asked, starting up the car. “Donar will probably be home, but I thought maybe some hot chocolate and a movie?”

Nasir laughed. “Sounds romantic.”

“Don’t laugh at me,” Agron pouted.

Nasir reached out and placed his hand on Agron’s knee. “I’m not laughing at you. It’s a great idea and I would love to go back to your place.”

Within a few minutes they were at the apartment Agron shared with Donar. Nasir sat on the couch while Agron made them some hot chocolate. “My DVDs are in the black case on the TV stand if you want to pick a movie out, Nasir,” Agron called out from the kitchen.

Nasir grabbed it and flipped through, noticing how unlike his movies, Agron’s were not in alphabetical order. “Why aren’t they in order?”

“They are in order,” Agron replied. “All my favorites are in the front and the movies I don’t watch as much are in the back.”

“Uh-huh,” Nasir said, resisting the urge to organize it. “I find keeping them in alphabetical order helps to find them faster.”

“I don’t have the patience to do that,” Agron replied. “I’d rather organize by favorites and least favorites.”

Nasir found the Boondock Saints and pulled it out. “Found one.”

“Go ahead and put it in,” Agron said. “We don’t have a DVD player so just put it in the PS3.”

Agron came back out a few minutes later with two coffee mugs of hot chocolate. He handed the Avengers cup to Nasir while keeping the purple one with Catwoman on it for himself. Nasir smiled. “I take you like comic books?”

“Love them,” Agron replied. “I still have a ton of mine and Duro’s in a box in my closet from when we were kids. Along with a bunch of our action figures.”

Nasir blew on his hot chocolate before taking a sip. “I read a couple of them. This is good by the way.”

“Thank you, it’s my mom’s super-secret special recipe,” Agron replied with a smile on his face. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to Nasir’s cheek. “Maybe I’ll teach you it one day.”

“Thought you said it was a secret?”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t tell anyone,” Agron said, grabbing the wireless game remote off the coffee table along with the TV remote. He turned both systems on and waited for it to boot up. “Boondock Saints?”

“Yeah, I love that movie.”

“So do I,” Agron said. “Though it’s been a couple of years since I’ve last watched it.”

Nasir watched a sadness appear in Agron’s eyes and he suddenly felt bad, already figuring out why Agron hadn’t. “I can pick something else, or you can.”

Agron shook his head. “Nah, it’ll be fine.” He scooted over and wrapped an arm around Nasir’s waist. “I think I can watch it now.” He pressed play and Nasir looked up at Agron for a couple of seconds before resting his head on Agron’s shoulder.

When Donar came home halfway through the movie, he found the couple cuddled on the couch. Agron pressed against the back with Nasir pressed against his front. Agron’s arms were wrapped tightly around Nasir, his head resting on the arm of the couch.

He smiled when he took in the sight. “Glad to see you two idiots finally got together.” Agron flipped Donar off before wrapping his arm back around Nasir who looked to be blushing slightly. “So how long has this been going on now?” Donar asked as he took a seat in the arm chair.

“A couple of weeks,” Nasir replied.

“I was waiting for you two to hook up,” Donar said. “I was tired of seeing Agron mope around complaining that you were too young for him.”

“I never did that.”

Donar rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

When the movie ended, Agron shut the system off and tossed the clicker to Donar before getting off the couch. He grabbed up the coffee mugs and made his way back to the kitchen, glancing out the window on his way to see that it was snowing heavily. He could barely see across the street. He set the cups in the sink and went back into the front room. “Nasir, I think that maybe you should stay here tonight. It’s snowing pretty bad outside.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t suggest driving in that,” Donar said. “It was a bitch getting back home. Cars were swerving all over the fucking road. I cannot tell you how many times I was almost hit.”

“It’s really that bad?”

Donar flipped to the news and at the top right of the screen was the little snowstorm warning and the counties affected. Nasir shook his head. “Alright, but I have class tomorrow so I have to leave early.”

Agron sat back down next to Nasir. “You can take my bed, and I can sleep on the couch.”

“Got any clothes that will fit me?”

“Probably not,” Agron replied. “But we do have a washer and dryer.”

Agron stood up and reached out for Nasir. Nasir took his hand and was led into the bedroom. “Sorry about the mess,” Agron said, kicking a pile of clothes aside. “I never did like to clean.” He opened his closet and started to dig through a box until he pulled out a shirt and a pair of sweats and stood up, turning towards Nasir. “These used to be Duro’s, I think they’ll fit a little better than mine.”

“Agron, I can’t-”

“Please, it’s better than just having them sit in a box collecting dust.”

Nasir took the clothes and Agron turned to leave, grabbing a shirt and sweats off the floor. “Just leave your clothes on the bed and I’ll get them washed up for you. I need to get a load done anyways.”

Agron left the room and Nasir got dressed. The clothes were big, but the drawstring on the pants helped keep them up. He folded his clothes and left them on the bed before going back into the front room. Agron had changed as well and there a blanket and pillow on the arm of the couch.

Donar wasn’t in the front room anymore. “Agron, you don’t have to sleep on the couch.”

Agron looked up at him. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

Nasir came over and straddled Agron’s lap, kissing him softly. “It won’t be.” He kissed Agron again before resting their foreheads together. “I know it’s only been a couple of weeks, but all we are doing is sleeping in the same bed.”

“I’ll keep my hands to myself then,” Agron replied with a laugh.

“I know that you will.”

“Want to go to bed?”

Nasir nodded. “Yeah.”

“Do you mind the TV?” Agron asked. “I like to fall asleep to it.”

Nasir shook his head. “I don’t mind.”

Agron kissed Nasir before gently patting his thigh. “I think there is a little bit of hot chocolate left if you want to share it.”

“Sounds good to me,” Nasir replied, getting off of Agron and walking towards the bedroom.

Agron went into the kitchen and rinsed out his Catwoman cup before pouring the rest of the hot chocolate into it and heated it back up before making his way into the bedroom where Nasir was already snuggled under the covers. Agron placed the cup on the nightstand before getting under the covers with Nasir.

They shared a kiss before Agron passed Nasir the coffee mug. He then turned the TV on to the Syfy channel where there was a horrible original Syfy channel movie on. They passed the hot chocolate back and forth until it was empty before they snuggled up together.

The only light on was the TV, giving them the just enough to look at one another. Agron ran his fingers though Nasir’s hair. “Can I ask you something?”

“Hmm?”

“Is it too early to say ‘I love you’ yet?” Agron whispered.

“I don’t know,” Nasir replied. “What do you think?”

“I think it is,” Agron said. “But, I want to say it anyways.”

“Then say it.”

“I love you,” Agron said, leaning in and kissing Nasir.

Nasir kissed Agron back. “I can’t say it yet.”

Agron nodded. “You don’t have to.”

“I do care about you though, and I like you a lot.”

“I know.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Agron replied, pushing Nasir onto his back, missing how it made Nasir tense and resting his head over Nasir’s heart. “Just say it when you feel it.”

_______________________________________

 

Agron awoke to the sounds of whimpering and muttering in another language. He turned over to see Nasir shaking and in the moonlight he could see streaks on his face from tears. Agron leaned over and gently shook Nasir’s shoulder. “Nasir, hey Nasir. Nasir, wake up!”

Nasir jerked away and scrambled off the bed, staring at Agron with wide eyes. Agron looked back with confusion, wondering what he had done. “N-Nasir?”

Nasir wrapped his arms around himself and was breathing heavily, Agron could tell the sign of a panic attack beginning. Carefully, he got off the bed and knelt down in front of Nasir. “Naisr, I am not going to hurt you,” He whispered, reaching out and placing a hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

Nasir shook his head and closed his eyes as more tears started to fall. He moved forward and pressed himself against Agron’s chest, who immediately wrapped his arms around Nasir and held him close. He rocked them and told him everything was alright.

Once Nasir calmed down, Agron got him back on the bed. Agron pulled the blanket over Nasir and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I’m going to get you a glass of water, I will be right back.”

He went into the kitchen and got a glass of water before going back into the bedroom to see that Nasir had curled up into a ball. He coaxed Nasir into sitting up and handed the glass of water to him. “Are you alright?”

Nasir nodded before sipping on the water. “I’m fine,” Nasir croaked out. “Don’t worry about it.”

He let Nasir finish the glass before he spoke again. “What was that?”

“Nothing.”

“Something.”

“I-I don’t want to talk about it,” Nasir replied. “Not yet.”

Agron nodded and lay back down. “But you’re ok?”

Nasir nodded. “I’m alright.” Nasir lay down next to Agron. “I-I had hoped you didn’t have to witness that.”

“Will you tell me one day?”

“Maybe,” Nasir replied, closing his eyes.

Agron watched Nasir for a while, scared of another attack but when he was tired and ended up falling asleep. When he awoke in the morning, Nasir was gone. A note was on the pillow he had used.

Agron,

I had to get home to get my school bag. Sorry I did not wake you. Call me later and maybe we can have lunch.

-Nasir

Agron smiled sadly and set the note on the nightstand before getting up and jumping in the shower. When he got out he found Donar in the kitchen, coffee in hand and already in uniform. “So, you two slept in the same bed, huh?”

“Nothing happened,” Agron said, pouring himself a cup. “We just slept.”

“I heard a small commotion.”

Agron glared at his friend. “It was nothing like that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Fuck off, Donar.”

Donar placed his hand on Agron’s shoulder. “Agron, I’m just teasing you.”

“I know, I just…” Agron shook his head. “Never mind.”

“You really care about him, don’t you?” Donar asked.

Agron nodded. “I do and I barely know him.”

“He must really be something,” Donar said. “Cause I haven’t since seen anyone mean so much to you since Duro.”

“I don’t even think he feels the same.”

“Not yet, but I am sure that he will,” Donar replied. “It’s been what? Two or three weeks and you’re already sleeping in the same bed? It took two months for my last girlfriend and I to do that.”

“Do you-do you think we’re moving too fast?”

Donar shook his head. “Saxa and Mira got married two months after meeting, so unless you get married tomorrow, I don’t think you’re going too fast.”

“I told him that I loved him yesterday.”

“And what did he say?”

“He told me that he didn’t love me yet,” Agron said. “But one day he might.”

____________________________________

 

“He told me he loved me,” Nasir blurted out as he and Naevia were sitting in the back, each working on their own projects.

Naevia almost spit out her coffee. “He did what?”

“Agron told me that he loved me,” Nasir repeated, this time quieter.

“How long has it been?”

“A couple of weeks, but we’ve known each other for a couple of years,” Nasir replied. “And we’ve had feelings for each other just as long, so I guess I’m not surprised.”

“And how do you feel?”

“I don’t know yet,” Nasir said. “I mean, we haven’t even told anyone!”

“Calm down. It’s just three words.”

“How long did it take Crixus to tell you?”

“Two days,” Naevia replied. “And it took me months to tell him.”

Nasir nodded. “I told him that I didn’t know how I felt yet. I then stayed over and had a major freak out in his bed.”

“You two had sex?”

“What? Gods no!” Nasir said, giving her a look. “It was snowing really badly and he didn’t want me to drive out in it, so I stayed over and then I had a dream, about back then.”

Naevia felt her heart ache. She was one of the few who knew what happened to Nasir before Spartacus and Sura adopted him. “And what did he do?”

“He just held me through it and told me everything was ok.”

“Did you tell him?”

Nasir shook his head. “No, I didn’t. I don’t think that I’m ready for that yet.”

“You know he’ll still love you right?”

“How would you know?”

“Cause Crixus still loves me and it happened while we were dating,” Naevia replied. “And you know that Crixus and Agron are more alike than they want to admit. Agron will listen and he won’t think any less of you.”

Nasir shifted in his seat, feeling very uncomfortable. “I’ll tell him when I’m ready.”


	2. Chapter 2

Nasir took out his camera and snapped a few pictures of Agron and Donar as they threw snowballs at one another. He laughed as Agron tackled Donar to the ground and snapped a few more.

When Agron managed to pin Donar down and keep him down, the two quit wrestling. Agron stood up and pulled Donar up before looking at Nasir and smiling. “Come here.”

Nasir shook his head, a smile on his face. “No way, I don’t trust you.”

Donar came up behind Nasir and grabbed his camera with one hand before wrapping an arm around Nasir’s waist. “Got him!”

Nasir froze for a moment before he struggled to get away. Agron saw the panic in Nasir’s eyes. “Donar, let him go.”

Donar frowned and pulled away, handing the camera back. “Ruin my fun,” Donar mumbled before walking over the park bench and sitting down.

Agron walked closer and gently touched Nasir’s cheek. “Are you ok?”

Nasir nodded. “I’m fine.”

Agron smiled softly and pressed a kiss to Nasir’s forehead. “Ready to go back?”

“No,” Nasir replied, holding his camera up. “There are lots of photo opportunities out here.”

Agron laughed. “Go on then.”

Nasir took Agron’s hand. “Walk with me.”

They walked through one of the trails the park offered, careful to stay on the path. Occasionally, Nasir would stop to take a picture, sometimes making Agron pose for him. At one point, Agron snatched Nasir’s camera and started to take pictures of Nasir until Nasir stole the camera back after a kiss.

“You look beautiful,” Agron whispered as they stood close.

Nasir smiled. “Thank you.”

Agron kissed him again before they heard the sound of a phone camera going off. They turned towards the sound to see Donar with a grin on his face. “Sorry, couldn’t help myself.” A few minutes later, both of their phones went off from the picture message Donar sent them.

“We should get back,” Agron said. “It’s getting late.”

Nasir nodded and put his camera in his bag. “Only if you make some of that hot chocolate again.”

“Anything for you, Nasir.”

When they got back to Agron’s place, Agron made up some hot chocolate before grabbing a blanket and snuggling up with Nasir on the couch.

Donar ended up having to go out that night, leaving the couple alone. When they finished their hot chocolate, Agron pulled Nasir into a kiss that slowly deepened. After a few minutes, Nasir felt one of Agron’s hands slip down his chest and stopping at his stomach, then moved even lower a few seconds later.

Nasir gasped and broke their kiss as Agron palmed him through his jeans. He hadn’t even realized just aroused he was. He looked down at his lap, watching Agron’s hand.

“Am I moving too fast?” Agron suddenly asked, moving his hand away.

Nasir shook his head. “No.” He took Agron’s hand and placed it back. He kissed Agron and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him closer.

He panted into the kiss, wanting more. Needing more. Nasir broke their kiss and placed a hand on Agron’s shoulder, pushing him down slightly. Agron’s eyes widened. “Are you sure?”

Nasir nodded. “I’m sure.”

Agron kissed him one more time before he slide off the couch and onto the floor. Agron started to kiss down Nasir’s clothed chest before pushing his shirt up slightly and pressing kisses just above his waistband, his tongue occasionally coming out to lick at his skin.

Nasir moaned softly, his fingers running through Agron’s hair. He let out a small gasp when Agron mouthed him through his jeans. Fingers undid his jeans and they, along with his boxers were pulled down. Agron looked up at Nasir as though asking for permission and Nasir nodded.

Agron wrapped his hand around Nasir’s cock and slowly stroked it, making Nasir’s hips buck. Nasir watched as his cock slipped between Agron’s lips. He moaned, his grip on Agron’s hair tightening. Agron bobbed his head, his hands holding Nasir’s hips still.

He closed his eyes, panting heavily. “Agron…..”

A hand ran down to his balls and played with him, making him moan and writhe. His other hand clawed at Agron’s shoulders as a heat pooled in his lower stomach. “Agron. Agron!” His breathing quickened as he got closer to his release. “Fuck, Agron. I’m getting close. I’m getting so close. Oh Gods!” His back arched and he let out a loud moan as he started to come.

Agron continued to suck and bob his head until the sensation became too much for Nasir and the Syrian started to push him away. Agron smiled up at Nasir, his hands running up and down Nasir’s thighs. “Good?”

Nasir nodded, caressing Agron’s cheek. “Can I tell you something?”

“Yeah.”

“That was the first time I’ve ever had a blowjob.”

“It was?”

Nasir nodded. “All the guys I’ve been with, they’ve never wanted to. I always had to suck them.”

“I don’t see why not,” Agron said, pressing a soft kiss to one of Nasir’s thighs. He nuzzled the soft, hairy skin. “That was so fucking hot.” Another kiss on Nasir’s skin, this time on his stomach. “That’s the best part about giving them, is hearing the reaction of your partner. Hear them scream for you.” Agron got off the floor and straddled Nasir’s hips. Gently, rubbing his own hardened and clothed cock against Nasir’s stomach. He kissed Nasir softly. “I love you, and I would be more than happy to give you as many blowjobs as you want.”

Nasir groaned and moved a hand to the front of Agron’s jeans to find an impressive bulge. Slowly, he rubbed it, teasing Agron.

Agron bucked his hips into Nasir’s touch, groaning. “Nasir…”

Nasir unzipped Agron’s pants and pulled his cock out, wrapping his hand around it. It was bigger than his own and he couldn’t help but to wonder how it would feel inside of him. He wrapped his free hand around the back of Agron’s neck and pulled him down for another kiss before quickly bringing Agron to release.

They sat there in silence, the only sound being their breathing. Finally, Agron spoke. “Shower before dinner?” Agron asked.

Nasir nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

“You can use my shower,” Agron said as he got up and reached for Nasir’s hand. “I can use the regular shower.”

Nasir tilted his head and looked at him oddly for a moment before nodding and walking back towards Agron’s room, stripping as he went. Agron watched him, a little shocked by Nasir’s strange look and his forwardness.

He walked to his bedroom to grab his pajamas when he saw that Nasir had left the bathroom door open and Agron could see his boyfriend’s shadow through the curtain. Did Nasir want him to join him?

He watched Nasir for a couple of seconds before closing his bedroom door and stripping. He then walked into the bathroom and stepped into the shower behind Nasir. Nasir looked at him over his shoulder and smiled softly.

Agron leaned in to kiss him before grabbing the shampoo bottle. He poured a little bit into his hand before running his fingers through Nasir’s hair. Nasir hummed softly and leaned his head back. It was strangely erotic to be allowed to wash Nasir, but neither of them made a move to deal with their renewed arousals.

When they were finished in the shower, they got out and dried off before dressing and making their way out of the bedroom. Nasir sat on the couch and flipped through the channels as Agron started on dinner.

____________________________________________

 

Agron awoke to the sound of someone banging on the front door. With a groan he got out of bed and made his way into the living room.

“Open the damn door, you fuck!” Crixus yelled, banging on the apartment door.

“I’m coming!” Agron yelled back, cracking the door open enough to look at Crixus. “What do you want?”

Crixus pushed his way in. “Naevia kicked me out so she could complete something for some art thing, so I figured I would make you equally as miserable.”

“What? She can’t do it at her studio?”

“Studio is closed for the day and she will not go in there unless she has too,” Crixus replied, helping himself to a beer and flopping down on the couch. “Something about getting distracted and all the photos she needs are on her laptop.”

“Well, I’m a little busy right now.”

Crixus looked him up and down. “Doing what? Wanking?”

“I have company over, dumbfuck.”

“Oh got yourself another fuck then?”

“It’s not a fuck,” Agron growled out, sitting down. “And I would prefer if you left before they woke up.”

“Why?”

“Because I want you to leave.”

“Fuck off, you and me are going to be miserable together.”

“It’s my fucking apartment, get out.”

“Agron, I-”

Crixus’ eyes widened and Agron turned to see Nasir standing in the hallway in only his boxers and a shirt that was three sizes too large for him and looking as equally shocked. He turned and ran back into the bedroom, slamming the door shut. Agron mentally smacked himself. “I told you to get out, now leave!”

“You’re fucking the boss’ son? He ain’t even that old!”

“He’s eighteen and it’s completely legal,” Agron replied, before pointing towards the door. “Now leave.”

Crixus stood up. “Does anyone else know?”

“It’s nobody’s fucking business!”

“How long?”

“Crixus, get the fuck out of my apartment and don’t you dare say a word to anyone!”

“Why haven’t you told anyone?”

“We aren’t ready yet!” Agron growled out, pushing Crixus towards the door. “Leave. Now. Before I call your wife.”

Agron slammed the door shut once Crixus was on the other side. He stood there and took a couple of deep breathes before he walked back towards the bedroom. He tapped on the door a couple of times before he walked in. Nasir was sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling on his jeans.

“Nasir, I’m sorry,” Agron said, standing in the doorway. “He just kind of pushed his way in and -”

“It’s fine, Agron,” Nasir replied. “I was just a little shocked, that’s all.”

Agron looked down at the ground, feeling very uncomfortable. “Are you-are you ashamed of me? Of us?”

Nasir was silent for a minute. He got off the bed and walked over to Agron. His fingers went to Agron’s jaw and gently raised his face so that he was looking at him. “I’m not ashamed. I am just a very private person and I like to have things that are just mine.”

“I am yours.”

“I know, but I don’t want to share this yet,” Nasir said, his fingers moved up to gently caress Agron’s cheek. “When we’re together, it’s just us. No one else. I just wanted it like that for a little while longer.”

“I didn’t think of it like that.”

Nasir nodded. “I know.” He stood on his tiptoes to kiss Agron’s forehead. “We’ll tell them when we’re ready.”

___________________________________________________

 

Agron was looking through a case file when a shadow fell over his desk. He looked up to see Crixus standing before him. “What the hell do you want?”

“I want to talk to you.”

“I'm busy.”

“It'll only take a moment.”

“Fuck off.”

Crixus slammed his hand down on Agron's desk, gaining the attention of others in the station. “Look, I'm sorry for barging in, so either we talk about it out here or we go somewhere else.”

Agron closed the folder and stood up. “Elsewhere.”

Crixus led them to an empty interrogation room and closed the door once Agron stepped inside. “I really am sorry about barging in, if I had known-”

“If you had known you would have still barged in,” Agron sneered, crossing his arms over his chest.

Crixus looked away, knowing that Agron was right. “Does anyone else know?”

“Donar, your wife and now you,” Agron replied.

“Spartacus?”

Agron shook his head. “We haven't gotten that far,” Agron said sitting down on the edge of the table in the room. “It's only been a few weeks.”

“Only a few weeks?”

Agron looked up and glared at the other cop. “I waited until he was eighteen. I'm not that fucked up.”

“I only asked because of the lack of clothing when he walked out of the bedroom.”

“Is it a crime to stay over at a significant other's house without having sex now?”

“No-”

“Then don't just assume we're that intimate.”

“Look, I know Nasir's been through a lot.”

“I won't hurt him,” Agron said. “Even if he wasn't the boss' son I wouldn't dream of hurting him. I really care about him Crixus. I don't know what happened to him when he was younger, but when he does tell me, it won't change anything. He means a lot to me.”

“As Naevia does to me.”

The two were silent for a long moment before Agron spoke. “Can you not tell anyone?”

“I won't. I promise.”

“Thank you,” Agron said before leaving the room and going back to the case he was working on.

__________________________________________________

 

“Mom?”

Sura stopped what she was doing and turned around to see Nasir standing in the doorway of the kitchen. The only time he ever called her mom was when he was upset or needed someone to talk to. “Yes, sweetie?”

“Can, can I talk to you?” Nasir asked. “Privately?”

Sura nodded. “Of course.”

Sura led him to the small office that she shared with Spartacus. She closed the door and turned towards her son. “What's wrong?”

“I-I'm dating Agron,” Nasir confessed. “It's been going on for a couple of weeks now.”

Sura sat down on the small loveseat that was in the room and patted the empty spot next to her. “Shouldn't you be happy about that? You've liked him for so long.”

Nasir sat down next to her and leaned his head on her shoulder. “He doesn't know about my past yet and I'm scared of telling him.”

“You don't have to,” Sura said, softly as she wrapped an arm around him.

“But he's already told me that he loves me and he doesn't even know yet,” Nasir said. “And I feel like I'm lying to him in a way because he doesn't know where I come from.”

Sura held him a little tighter. “How do you feel about him? And be honest.”

“I care about him,” Nasir replied. “I really enjoy his company and I feel like I could fall in love with him someday but..” Nasir shook his head and went silent.

“You can tell me, Nasir.”

“I'm broken,” Nasir whispered with a shaky voice. “I have never had a healthy relationship before. I've let men use me. I don't know how to act or what to do. I'm so lost right now.”

“You didn't let anyone do anything to you,” Sura said. “Those things were forced onto you and when you were in high school, you didn't know any better. Agron wouldn't do that to you.”

“I had a freak out in his bed.”

Sura raised an eyebrow. “You've already had sex?”

Nasir shook his head. “No, I stayed over when there was a bad snow storm and I had one of my nightmares.”

“What did he do?”

“He asked me what was wrong, but I told him that I couldn't tell him and he just held me.”

“How did that make you feel?”

“Him holding me calmed me down,” Nasir whispered. “I felt safe, I have never felt that before when I was with a guy. He's the first.”

“That's because he really cares about you,” Sura said. “He's respective and he has a big heart. He won't hurt anyone he loves, not on purpose.”

“I still feel like I'm not worthy enough to experience something like this.”

“You deserve it more than most, Nasir,” Sura said. “Go with what your heart says and when the time feels right, tell him about your past so he can understand.”

“I'm scared to tell him, Sura.”

Sura pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “He will listen. I know that he will.”

“But what if he's too disgusted by it? What if it changed things between us?”

“It won't,” Sura replied. “If anything, it'll bring you both closer together.”

“Are you sure?”

“I'm sure.”

They sat there in silence, Sura just holding and comforting her son. He had always had trouble with relationships and it broke her heart to see him find a good man and be scared of things that could happen. She prayed that Agron would understand and still love Nasir after he knew what happened. She was sure he would be, but she still prayed for it.

“I just baked some cookies last night,” Sura said. “How about you come and eat some? Hmm?”

Nasir nodded. “That would be nice.”

As they walked into the kitchen, Nasir spoke again. “Can you not tell Spartacus yet?”

Sura nodded. “I won't say anything, but you will need to tell him.”

“I will tell him when I'm ready.”

_______________________________________________

 

Nasir walked into the police station, a box of cookies Sura had given him in his hands. He spotted Agron speaking to Saxa, so he went to Spartacus' office. He knocked a couple of times before walking in and seeing the captain typing on his computer. “I brought a present for everyone, courtesy of Sura.”

He walked over and placed the box on Spartacus' desk. Spartacus stopped working and opened the box, smiling when he saw the cookies. “You know, I haven't had any of these yet. She chased me out of the kitchen with a broom when I tried to take one.”

Nasir laughed. “She was bringing them in but she had to go into the office so I offered to bring them here.”

“That was very nice of you,” Spartacus said, grabbing one of the cookies and eating it. “You can let the others know if you want.”

Nasir nodded and poked his head out of the office. “Cookies in Spartacus' office if you want them!”

“Were they made by Sura?” Varro asked.

Nasir nodded. “They were.”

Everybody perked up at that. Nasir bid Spartacus farewell before stepping out of the office. Agron came up to him as he was about to leave. “Nasir, can I talk to you for a moment?”

Nasir nodded and Agron led him outside and sat down on one of the benches, patting the spot next to him. Nasir sat down and they were both silent for a long moment. “Crixus spoke to me today and he apologized for barging in.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “And he said that he won't tell anybody.”

Nasir nodded. “I-I told Sura. I went over there and it just kind of came out. We talked and I asked her not to tell Spartacus yet and she won't.”

“You said tell everyone when the time is right,” Agron said. “And we'll do just that.”

“When the time is right,” Nasir agreed.

Agron glanced back at the station when the doors opened. “I should be getting back. See you later?”

Nasir nodded. “There's an art fair this weekend. Will you come with me?”

“I have to work this weekend, so it depends on the time.”

“I will let you know. See you later, Agron.”

“See you,” Agron replied and went back into the station.

Nasir sat there for a few minutes watching cars pass by before he stood up and made his way back to the car, passing Mira on the way. She smiled and waved at him. Nasir waved back. “Here to see your wife?”

“Was she in there?”

Nasir nodded. “Yeah, I think I saw her talking to Agron.”

“Thanks. Oh, do you have any plans this weekend?”

“I was thinking of going to an art fair, why?”

“Saxa and I wanted to get some photos done for our anniversary,” Mira replied. “Could you take them?”

Nasir nodded. “Yeah, just let me know a time and we can work something out.”

“Thanks, Nasir.”

“You're welcome.”

_________________________________________________

 

“Ok guys, now kiss,” Nasir said with a smile. “These are the last photos.”

Saxa turned towards her wife and pulled her into a kiss. Nasir snapped a couple of pictures and coughed when they started to make out. “Hey! Hey! Kids around! Kids around!”

Saxa ran a hand down to Mira's ass and groped it. “Can't help it, my wife is just too hot.”

Nasir shook his head and moved over to his laptop to load the photos. “So, time to pick the ones you want.”

“We trust your judgment,” Mira said, stepping away from Saxa who was attempting to grope her some more. “Right wifey?”

“Right,” Saxa said before sitting down next to Nasir. “How much do we owe you?”

“Depends on which photos I decide to give you and the prints you want of them,” Nasir replied.

“Make 'em big,” Saxa said.

“Don't listen to her,” Mira said, sitting on the other side of him. “We'll be framing them and putting them in the front room.”

Nasir nodded. “Ok, just come by later this week and I should have them ready for you then.”

Saxa leaned over and pressed a kiss to Nasir's cheek. “You're the best.”

The couple got up and left, leaving Nasir to flip through the pictures he took. He hadn't noticed anyone had walked up until Agron sat down next to him, startling him. “Agron! I thought you had to work.”

“I convinced Spartacus to let me out a little early. I thought you wanted to go to that art thing.”

“I did, but I could have gone alone.”

Agron reached over and took Nasir's hand. “Maybe I wanted to spend some time with you.”

Nasir smiled softly. “Let me just finish up and we can head out.”

Nasir saved everything before packing away his equipment. They headed out and Nasir directed him to the art fair. “Thank you, for coming with me.”

“Not a problem,” Agron replied. “I’ve never been to one before though.”

“It's just a bunch of artist showing off and selling their art. I like to come to them, though I’ve never had a booth before.”

“You should do it one day.”

“Yeah, maybe. Because it's winter, this one is going to be kind of small,” Nasir said. “Though it should still have some nice things.”

Agron nodded. “I am sure that I will enjoy it.” He reached over and placed his hand on Nasir's knee. “Especially if you're there with me.”

Nasir smiled and intertwined their fingers. Agron gently squeezed before bringing their joined hand to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to Nasir's skin.

The art fair was in the gymnasium of a church. Agron was a little hesitant of going in, but Nasir assured him that they were very accepting of gays and lesbians. “Though I held different believes, I still came here with my grandmother,” Nasir said as they walked in. “And they have never once spoken against the gay community. In fact, some of the pastors here are gay.”

“Interesting,” Agron said.

They made it to the gymnasium and it really was a small fair, but big enough to fill the whole room. They walked around and Agron was amazed by the amount of talent there and the different art forms.

As they walked around, Nasir stopped suddenly as a booth that was selling painting. He walked over to a large one that had a phoenix on it, being reborn in fire. Agron stepped behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “That's wicked.”

Nasir nodded and checked the price tag. “And a little out of my price range.”

Agron looked and saw it was a little over a hundred dollars. He turned and motioned for the artist. “I would like to buy this one.”

“Agron!” Nasir said, turning around and looking at him wide eyed. “You-you don't have to do that.”

“You like it,” Agron said. “Don't you?”

Nasir nodded. “Well yes.”

“Then let me buy it for you.”

They left the booth a few minutes later, Agron carrying the painting so Nasir could look around. “You really didn't have to do that.”

“I don't spend a lot of money on myself,” Agron confessed. “So a hundred dollars isn't going to be missed so much.”

“Still-”

Agron stopped walking and pulled Nasir close, wrapping him in a hug. "A thank you would be nice, Nasir.”

Nasir sighed softly. “Thank you.”

Agron pressed a kiss to Nasir's cheek before they started to walk again. After an hour, they had looked at the rest of the booths and bought some more things before they reached the very last booth, a jewelry one. Nasir picked up a leather necklace with strings that hung low and had a few beads all over it. He looked up at Agron and placed it against his chest. “This would look nice on you.”

“You think so?” Agron asked.

Nasir nodded and bought it for Agron. He placed it around his boyfriend's neck before placing a kiss on his cheek. “Now we're even.”

Agron looked at the necklace and smiled. “Thank you.”

“Ready to go?”

Agron nodded. “Yeah.”

They stopped at the studio so Nasir could get his car before they both went back to Nasir's place.

Nasir looked around his apartment, wondering where to put the painting. Nasir put the painting up against one wall before shaking his head and moving it to another. Again, Nasir shook his head before just setting it down against the wall. “I'll figure out where to put this tomorrow.”

Agron walked over to the bookshelf and found a couple of phoenix figurines sitting there. “You must really like phoenixes.”

“A phoenix arises from the ashes of its past life,” Nasir said. “And starts a new. I find it very beautiful.”

Agron smiled. “I'm partial to wolves myself. I was told it was my spirit animal.”

“I can see that,” Nasir replied, sitting down on the couch.

Agron sat down next to him. “I had a nice time tonight. Thank you.”

Nasir leaned against him and rested his head on Agron's shoulder. “Thank you for coming with me.”

Agron smiled and held Nasir close to him. “Anything for you.”

“Do you work tomorrow?” Nasir asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“In the afternoon, why?”

Nasir lifted his head so he could look at Agron. “Would you stay the night?”

Agron nodded. “Yes.”

Nasir kissed him before getting off the couch. “What would you like for dinner? I think I have some kind of canned pasta in the cupboard, maybe some mac n cheese.”

“I’m good with whatever you choose to make.”

Nasir walked into the kitchen and looked through his cabinets, and made a mental note to go grocery shopping. He pulled out two cans of Spaghettio’s and made up a pan of them. He then put them into bowls and moved out into the front room, setting them on the coffee table. “You want anything to drink?”

“Whatcha got?”

“Water, milk and I think I got some Faygo in there.”

“What kind of Faygo?”

“Grape,” Nasir replied. “or Crème Soda, I can’t remember.”

“Either is fine.”

Nasir nodded and went back into the kitchen, pouring them each a cup of Crème soda Faygo before going back into the front room. “Looks like I had crème soda.”

“One of my favorites,” Agron said, accepting the glass being handed to him.

Nasir sat down next to Agron and flipped the TV on. He flipped through the guide before changing it to an old episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which was on Logo.

“I love this show,” Agron said. “Grew up watching it.”

“So did I,” Nasir replied. “Sura always had it on. It’s one of her favorite shows. Sura introduced me to a lot of my favorite shows. Buffy, Charmed, Supernatural and so many more.”

Agron wrapped an arm around Nasir’s waist and pressed a kiss to the side of his head. “You are so lucky to have Sura and Spartacus as your parents.”

Nasir smiled. “I know.”

When they finished their dinner, they went into Nasir’s room to put their pajamas on. They had stayed over each other’s apartments enough times that they just kept a couple pairs of clothes at the others house.

Nasir snuggled under the covers and watched as Agron changed. He had a gorgeous body and Nasir itched to take photos of it, but he didn’t know how Agron would feel about it. Agron got under the covers with Nasir and wrapped an arm around the other’s waist before kissing him softly.

Nasir kissed him back and they continued to kiss, Agron moved his hand up to cup Nasir’s cheek as their kisses deepened, drawing low moans from each of them.

Nasir didn’t notice when Agron’s hand slowly made its way down his side, but he froze when it slipped under his pajama pants. Agron immediately withdrew his hand and laid it on the bed before breaking their kiss. “I’m sorry,” Agron whispered. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s not your fault,” Nasir whispered.

Agron moved his hand back to Nasir’s cheek, caressing it gently. “What happened to you, Nasir? Why can’t you trust anyone?”

Nasir pulled back. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Nasir-“

“I said that I don’t want to talk about it,” Nasir said, turning away from Agron.

Agron stayed still for a moment before hesitantly moving closer to Nasir and wrapping an arm around his waist, not missing how Nasir tensed up for a second before relaxing. “I love you Nasir.” He pressed a kiss to Nasir’s clothed shoulder. “And I just want you to be happy.”

Nasir took a shaky breath before he spoke. “I-I was abused as a kid,” Nasir said, quietly. “After my mom died, my step-father took custody of me and he abused me. That’s all I’m going to say.”

Agron was quiet for a moment before he held Nasir closer and buried his face in the Syrian’s neck. “I love you, Nasir,” Agron whispered, pressing a kiss to Nasir’s neck. “I love you and I will never let anyone touch you like that again. I promise.”

“How can you make such a promise?”

“Because I love you.”

Nasir closed his eyes and placed his hand over one of Agron’s. Having Agron so close and comforting him, it made him feel safe. Nasir turned over so he could face Agron again. He never felt so safe in the arms of another, which made him question why he freaked out when Agron tried to take things further.

“I don’t know why I tensed up,” Nasir said. “I-I know you wouldn’t hurt me.”

“I could never hurt you,” Agron said. He pressed a gentle kiss to Nasir’s forehead. “Nor will I ever do anything you don’t want. If I ever do anything to make you feel uncomfortable, you tell me right away and I will stop. I promise.”

Nasir looked at Agron for a long moment before he leaned in and gently kissed Agron. “Thank you.”  
__________________________________________

 

Agron jumped over a fence and continued his pursuit of the drug dealer they had been tracking. He could hear Spartacus and Crixus following close behind. Agron stopped when he saw the dealer slip into an abandoned house.

Agron drew his gun out and took the safety off; he stepped closer to the house and hid behind a tree when he heard a shot. Spartacus and Crixus also hid, Agron looking back at both of them. Spartacus motioned for him to wait and Agron nodded.

“Lenny,” Spartacus called out from his hiding spot. “Put your gun down and come out with your hands up!”

“Fuck you!” Lenny yelled out, firing off more rounds. “Fuck all of you.”

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be,” Spartacus said. “Please come out.”

“Come and get me you fucking pig!”

Agron felt his anger rise. He hated people like this, and wish there were all wiped off the face of the Earth. He started to turn to run in when he stopped, thinking of Nasir. He bowed his head and took a deep breath before remaining still. He and Nasir had only just begun; he could not run out and be reckless.

When he looked up, Crixus was staring at him with wide-eyes, obviously surprised that Agron hadn’t gone running in like every other time. Even Spartacus was looking at him a little strange.

After what seemed like an hour, Spartacus motioned for Crixus and Agron to sneak in the back of the house. Together, they took down the drug dealer and got him cuffed. When they returned to the station, Spartacus pulled Agron aside.

“Who is he, Agron?” Spartacus asked quietly.

“Whose who?”

“Whoever it is that you’re living for now,” Spartacus replied. “You’ve calmed down considerably, and you’re not reckless anymore. The only reason I can think of that happening is because you found someone.”  
Agron was silent for a moment. “I did find someone,” He said, quietly. “But I’m not quite ready to let everyone know about them yet. So forgive me for not telling you.”

Spartacus nodded. “I understand.” He gave Agron’s shoulder a gentle squeeze before he started to walk away. “Keep up the good work, Agron.”

Agron smiled before turning around and coming face to face with Crixus, feeling his good mood disappear. “What?”

“He doesn’t know yet?”

“It’s not my place to tell him,” Agron replied. “That’s all up to Nasir.”


	3. Chapter 3

Agron parked his car in Spartacus and Sura’s driveway and turned it off, but didn’t do anything else. Nasir knew he was nervous and reached over, placing a hand on Agron’s knee. “Hey, it’ll be ok.”

Agron took a deep breathe. “I’m having dinner with my boyfriend’s parents one of them who don’t even know that I‘m dating their son. I can’t help but to be nervous.”

“Everything is going to go just fine.” Nasir leaned over and gently kissed Agron’s cheek. “Come on, they’re waiting for us.”

They got out of the car and made their way up to the porch. Agron stood behind Nasir as Nasir knocked on the door. There was some barking from the family dog, Dante, before Spartacus was opening the door. Dante tried to jump all over them, but one command from Spartacus and he sat still.

“Agron, Nasir,” Spartacus said, stepping aside to let them in. “Glad you came. Sura and mom are in the kitchen finishing up dinner.”

Nasir led Agron to the kitchen. “Hi, Sura. Hi, grandma.”

The two women turned around and Eleanor, Spartacus’ mother, immediately came over and hugged Nasir tightly. “Oh, it is so good to see you, Nasir. How are you, my dear?”

“I’m good,” Nasir said, before gesturing towards Agron. “This is my friend, Agron. Agron, this is my grandma, El-“

Eleanor held her hand out towards Agron. “Just call me grandma,” Eleanor said.

Agron shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“And it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Eleanor said, she then turned back to Nasir. “We were just finishing up the green bean casserol. I told your mom that if you were going to be here then we needed to cook it for you.”

“Thanks, grandma.”

“You’re welcome,” Eleanor said as she walked back to Sura’s side. “We should have dinner soon. Now if you could keep your father out of the kitchen for us that would be nice. He keeps trying to eat the desserts.”

Nasir laughed. “Will do, Grandma.”

They went out into the front room where Spartacus was on the couch, petting Dante. Agron sat down in one of the chairs while Nasir sat down next to Spartacus. Dante immediately came over him and tried to jump into his lap, but he was too big so he settled for just laying his paws and head on Nasir’s legs. Nasir petted him.

“Thank you for letting me come tonight,” Agron said, breaking the silence.

“You’re welcome,” Spartacus replied. “I would not want to see you alone tonight.”

Agron then remembered the presents still in his hand and handed them over to Spartacus. “There is one for you and your wife, and one for Nasir,” Agron said.

Spartacus smiled. “Thank you.” Spartacus got up and set the presents under the tree. “We got something for you as well. Anyone who comes over on Christmas gets a present from us. Unless we don’t like them, then they get nothing.”

Agron laughed. “Nice.”

“Well, there was once year that that bitch Illythia came over unannounced to try and convince us to vote her husband mayor. She got nothing but a piece of fruit cake my mom baked us.”

“I saw her toss it out the window of her car when she left,” Nasir said. “Bitch.”

“And the bastard still got into office,” Agron muttered. “I hate him.”

“Same here,” Spartacus replied. “But you already know that.”

“No talking about work when we are at home!” Sura called out from the kitchen. “You can talk about work stuff at work!”

“Sorry, honey,” Spartacus called back.

After an hour, Eleanor called out that dinner was ready and the boys all came into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Agron and Nasir sat down next to one another, but kept a considerable distance between each other.

“So,” Eleanor started after a few minutes. “How did you meet Agron, Nasir?”

“He’s on the squad with Spartacus,” Nasir replied. “He joined only a couple of years ago.”

“Did you now?” Eleanor asked, turning towards Agron. “You look quite young for a cop.”

“I am the youngest member on the squad,” Agron replied. “And get made fun of for it quite a bit.”

“He’s the baby,” Spartacus said with a snicker.

Agron glared at the man. “No.”

“I’m just kidding,” Spartacus said. “I don’t see you as a baby. You are a valued member of the squad and I am glad you joined.”

“Thank you,” Agron said.

Nasir started to reach across the table to grab more green bean casserole when Eleanor reached out and slapped his hand. “Use your words, Nasir.”

Nasir withdrew his hand, rubbing the red spot where he was slapped. “Can you pass the casserole, please?”

Eleanor handed the dish over to her. “There you go, dear.”

Agron covered his mouth to try to hide a snicker, but Nasir heard it anyways and reached over to lightly tap his cheek. “Don’t laugh!”

“Sorry, sorry!” Agron said, holding his hands up in surrender.

Nasir shook his head and scooped a bunch of the casserole onto his plate before setting it down. He jumped slightly when he felt Agron gently squeeze his knee under the table, earning stares from the others. Nasir lightly kicked Agron’s leg in warning.

When dinner was finished, Eleanor stood up and got the blueberry pie off the counter and set it on the table. “Ok, who wants a slice?”

Eleanor dished out a slice for everyone and passed the whipped cream around. They all ate the pie in silence, indicating that everybody loved it. Agron was the first to finish and praise it. “This is amazing! Who made this?”

“I did,” Sura replied. “And I’m happy to hear you like it too. It’s one of Nasir’s favorite homemade desserts.”

“Sura, did you make one for me to take home?,” Nasir asked, as he pushed his empty plate away.

“Of course, dear,” Sura replied. “It’s in the fridge. I’ll send it with you when you go home.”

“Thank you, Sura.”

“You’re welcome,” Sura replied, giving Nasir’s shoulder and affectionate squeeze.

Once dessert was finished, everybody picked up their dishes and set them in the sink before making their way out to the front room again. “

Mistletoe! Mistletoe!” Eleanor said, pointing above Agron and Nasir as they stepped out of the dining room. The two stepped away from the offending plant. “No, you know the rules Nasir.”

“Grandma!”

“Amuse an old woman.” Nasir turned back towards Agron and kissed his cheek. “That’s not a kiss!”

“Mom,” Spartacus called out. “Leave them alone.”

“Agron’s been staring at Nasir all night, just get it over with already,” The old women said. “Get on with it.”

Agron’s cheeks turned bright red. “Umm…umm…”

Spartacus shook his head. “Just amuse her. She won’t shut up until you do.”

Agron turned back towards Nasir, feeling a little uneasy. He leaned in and gently pecked Nasir on the lips. “There. I kissed him.”

“Barely.”

“Mom!” “Grandma!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Eleanor said. “But I’m thinking these boys have something they need to tell us.”

Agron was starting to feel sick and he looked down at the ground. He glanced at Nasir out of the corner of his eye to see he looked just as embarrassed.

“I already know,” Spartacus replied. “They don’t need to tell us anything.”

Agron and Nasir stared at Spartacus in shock. Nasir was the first to speak. “How?”

“I just did,” Spartacus replied. “And we’re happy for you.”

Agron let out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. “You are?”

Spartacus nodded. “I can’t imagine anyone else at Nasir’s side.”

Nasir smiled. “Thank you.”

They all sat around and Spartacus went over to the Christmas tree and started to grab some of the gifts. “Ok, who’s ready for some presents?”

There weren’t very many under the tree so they went through them pretty fast. Nasir finished opening the present from Spartacus and Sura to see the camera he had been trying to save up for. “Oh my God! Thanks!” He got off the couch and hugged both of his parents, giving Sura a kiss on the cheek. “I love you guys.”

“We love you too, Sweetie,” Sura said, returning the kiss.

“And you are very welcome,” Spartacus said, hugging him back.

The very last gift was the one Agron had gotten for Nasir. He was worried of what Nasir would think of it, and was very fidgety as Nasir tore the wrapping paper off of it. Nasir gasped once most of the wrapping paper was gone and quickly tore the rest of it off.

It was another painting of a phoenix, but this one also had a portrait of Nasir in it. He had a friend that was an amazing painter and requested he make it.

Nasir turned towards Agron and pulled him into a kiss, not caring that anyone was watching. When he finally broke the kiss, Agron opened his eyes to see that Nasir was smiling. “I love it, thank you.”

Agron smiled back and pressed a kiss to Nasir’s cheek. “I was hoping you would.”

At that moment, there was a crash outside and the power cut out. There were a couple of screams of shock, barking from the dog and then someone getting up and bumping into things before a flashlight was turned on. Spartacus went over to the window and looked outside. “Damn, looks like we’ve been snowed it.” He walked over to another window and shook his head. “Looks like a tree fell on a power line.” He then turned towards the others. “I knew there was a storm coming, but I didn’t think it would be this bad. Sura, could you get a fire going while I go get more flashlights and some candles?”

“Of course, dear.”

Agron wrapped an arm around Nasir’s waist. “I think we’re stuck here for the night.”

The room lit up quickly when Sura started the fire and they all huddled around it for warmth. Nasir sat with his back against Agron’s chest and wrapped Agron’s arms around him. Now that they were officially out, he didn’t mind showing some affection, plus without power it got pretty cold, pretty quickly.

Spartacus came back with candles and flashlights before he wandered off again. When he came back he had all the extra pillows and blankets from hall closet. He handed them out. “Unfortunately, I don’t see anyone going home tonight. And I think it might be a little warmer in here than in the rooms. Mom, you can have the pull out couch, and the rest of us can sleep on the floor.”

Agron and Nasir made themselves a small pallet near one of the walls, while Spartacus and Sura made theirs near the other wall. They all laid themselves down and snuggled under the covers. Agron wrapped his arm around Nasir’s waist and held him close. “I was not expecting this tonight.”

“Every night is an interesting one in this house,” Nasir commented as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at the time. “It’s only nine o’clock. I’m not even tired yet.” He unlocked his phone and started to play a game, Agron watching him over his shoulder.

Eleanor was asleep within minutes, snoring on the couch. Spartacus and Sura chatted, while the young couple was quiet. They never felt the need to talk, just the need to be close. Something that Nasir had never felt before.

Agron held him a little tighter and buried his face in Nasir’s neck. “Sleepy yet?”

Nasir locked his phone and set it on the floor before turning to face Agron. “You can sleep you know, we’re not going to do anything.”

“Are you sure?” Agron asked. “I dozed off at the station once and your father allowed the others to doodle on my face. With sharpie.”

Nasir laughed and pressed a kiss to the tip of Agron’s nose. “Maybe you shouldn’t be falling asleep at work.”

Agron closed his eyes. “Don’t let them draw on me.”

“I wouldn’t do that.”

_______________________________________________

“Agron,” Spartacus called out from the doorway of his office. “Can I speak to you for a moment?”

Agron nodded and stood up; closing the case file he was looking at. He got into Spartacus’ office and Spartacus gestured for him to sit down before he shut the door and sat behind the desk. Hesitantly, Agron sat down.

There was an awkward silence for a few minutes before Spartacus spoke. “When I first caught you staring at Nasir, I wanted to kick you right off the squad. I could not believe a cop; especially one in my own squad could be attracted to someone much younger than him.”

“Spartacus, I swear to you that nothing happened until he was eighteen,” Agron said. “I swear it.”

Spartacus nodded. “I know. You see, Sura just knows things sometimes and she knew you would not act on your feelings for Nasir until he was older. So I kept you on the squad.” Spartacus paused for a moment, before taking a deep breath and continuing. “I don’t know what Nasir has told you of his past, but we are very protective of him because of it. He’s a good kid and he has a good heart, despite what has happened to him and I want you to know that I meant what I said at Christmas. I cannot see another by his side and I am very, very happy that you two are together. Just promise me one thing.”

“Anything.”

“Don’t break his heart,” Spartacus said. “Don’t you ever do that to him.”

“I could never do that,” Agron replied. “I love him.”

Spartacus smiled and reached over, gently squeezing Agron’s shoulder. “Promise me.”

“I promise,” Agron replied. “And if I ever break his heart, you can shoot me.”

Spartacus nodded. “Oh I will do so much more than shoot you. Get back to work.”

_________________________________

Nasir tossed and turned in bed, sweating and whimpering, the front of his shirt soaked. He spoke in Arabic, screaming and pleading at times, gripping the sheets and turning his knuckles white. Tears rolled down his face, and he cried out, his body shaking. Whatever he was dreaming about, it was torture.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

Nasir screamed when his alarm clock went off and he shot up, staring around his room before he realized he was safe and what he had seen was nothing more than a dream. He closed his eyes and flopped back down on the bed, reaching out and slamming his alarm clock off before turning on his side and pulled his covers over his head. He was sure Naevia wouldn’t mind too much if he didn’t show up at work.

Hours later, he woke up to the sound of the text message sound on his phone going off. He poked his head out from under the covers and grabbed his phone off the nightstand. He saw Agron’s name and read the text.

‘We should hang out tonight. I may let you have a beer. ;) - A’

Nasir unlocked his phone and texted back, ‘Not tonight.’

His phone pinged a few minutes later. ‘you ok?’

Nasir typed in ‘I’m fine’ before deleting it and sending ‘no.’

‘Sick?’

‘It’s just not a good night. I will call you tomorrow.’ Nasir then put his phone back on the nightstand before hiding under his covers once more. It was only a few more hours until he was awoken, yet again to the sound of knocking. He growled and tried to ignore it, but whoever it was, they were being very persistent.

He threw his covers off and made his way to the front room, becoming increasingly aware of how hungry he was. He cracked the front door open to see Agron on the other side. “I thought I told you not to come tonight?”

Agron shifted his weight from one foot to another, his hands fidgeting with the strings on his coat. “I-I was worried. I just wanted to make sure that you were ok.”

“I’m fine,” Nasir replied, ready to shut the door on his boyfriend. “I-I just want to go back to bed.”

“It’s-it’s three in the afternoon,” Agron said. “And you were in bed?”

Nasir nodded, rubbing his forehead and sighing before opening the door the rest of the way and walking towards the front room. He flopped down on the couch just as he heard the door shut. Agron came into view a few seconds later. “Nasir, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing you would understand,” Nasir replied, looking away from Agron.

“Try me.”

Nasir was silent for a couple of minutes before looking up at Agron. “I had a nightmare about when I was a kid.”

Agron frowned and knelt down before Nasir. “Nasir, what happened to you?”

Nasir shook his head. “I’m not ready to talk about it yet.”

Agron bowed his head. “Your attacks scare me, Nasir,” Agron whispered. “And-and I just want to understand why you have them.”

“I told you that I was abused.”

Agron lifted his head to look at Nasir again. “But how far did that abuse go? The way you act sometimes, it breaks my heart. I don’t like to see you in the midst of one of your attacks. It’s even worse when you push me away sometimes. I just-I don’t know how to act sometimes. I don’t want to scare you away, and I don’t ever want to make you feel uncomfortable. I love you, Nasir. I love you so much.”

“Then maybe you deserve someone else.”

It just slipped out and the hurt look on Agron’s face almost broke his heart. Agron looked away from him. “Is that what you really want? You want me with someone else?”

“No,” Nasir replied after a couple of seconds. He didn’t think he could handle seeing Agron happy with another. Hesitantly, he reached out and touched Agron’s cheek. “You are the first healthy relationship that I’ve had and it scares me. I don’t know what to do. I only know how to submit.” A tear slipped down his face and Agron’s finger came up to wipe it away. He closed his eyes as Agron cupped his cheek and Nasir leaned into the touch.

Agron didn’t know what to say, but he felt a pain in his chest. He pulled Nasir into his arms, feeling tears run down his own face. “You have nothing to be afraid of. I would never hurt you.”

Nasir returned the embrace. “I know. I know you wouldn’t, I’m still scared though.”

“It’ll take time,” Agron said. “But you will heal and you will learn how to live without submitting to others. You are strong Nasir, I can see that already. You just have to find the strength to heal from whatever happened to you.” He pressed another kiss to Nasir’s cheek. “I love you, and I will always be there for you.”

“You don’t even know what all happened to me.”

“I don’t have to. I just know that you can overcome it.”

Nasir kissed Agron softly. “Thank you.”

_______________________________________________________

 

Nasir was setting up his camera when Naevia stepped into the room. “Hey, sweetie.”

“Hey, I’m sorry about yesterday,” Nasir said. “I-I wasn’t feeling well.”

“It’s alright.”

Nasir shook his head. “No, no it’s not.”

“Sweetie, what’s wrong?”

“A lot,” Nasir whispered.

“Talk to me,” Naevia said. “I want to help.”

Nasir sat down in one of the prop chairs, staring at nothing. Out of all his friends, Naevia was the only one who could understand. “I-I feel like I’m never going to have a normal relationship, even with someone who actually loves and cares about me.”

Naevia pulled up another chair and sat down in front of him. “I thought the same thing once.”

Nasir turned and looked at her. “How did you get over it?”

“Crixus helped,” Naevia replied. “He was patient, he gave me space and when I needed him, he was there for me.”

“I don’t want to tell Agron,” Nasir said. “I don’t want him to be disgusted by me.”

“Honey, he would never be disgusted by you,” Naevia said, reaching out and taking Nasir’s hand. “He loves you. Anyone with eyes can see that.”

“I know he does, but that could change.”

Naevia shook her head. “No it wouldn’t.”

“It’s not just that. I-I want to take things further with him, but I freak out. And I don’t understand why because when his arms are around me I feel safe, but then he tries to go further and I stop him. Why Naevia? Why does this keep happening?”

“It’s going to happen. I still kissed Crixus, I still wanted him to hold me, but I couldn’t have sex with him,” Naevia replied. “It took me quite a few months before I could do it again.”

“It’s been years since I lived with my stepfather, only a couple since my ex,” Nasir said. “Shouldn’t I be ready?”

“It’s different for everyone. It could only take a couple of months for one person and years for another.”

Nasir looked down at the floor. “I want to. I can’t even begin to describe how badly I want to have sex with him. I’ve been thinking about it for a couple of years now.”

“That I can’t really help you with,” Naevia said. She brought their joined hands to her lips and kissed them softly. “I will tell you that you will know when you’re ready Nasir. Listen to your heart. Let it tell you what you want. Agron loves you and he’ll understand.”

_________________________________________________

 

“You better not let Sparty see that,” Sura said, when Saxa popped open a bottle of champagne.

Saxa laughed. “I’m off duty! I can drink all I want!” She poured herself a glass and took a swing.

Nasir shook his head and laughed. Spartacus allowed a New Year’s Eve party at the station, since most of the squad was working that night. Agron grabbed a glass and Saxa poured him some. He took a sip before holding it out towards Nasir. “Want some?”

Nasir shook his head. “I don’t like alcohol.”

Agron shrugged and downed the rest of his drink, just as Spartacus walked out of his office. “Don’t make me confiscate that!”

Saxa hid the bottle. “Confiscate what?”

Spartacus eyed her before looking around the room. “If you’re on duty, you better not be drinking.”

Saxa wrapped an arm around Spartacus’ neck. “Relax. No one is drinking on the job, boss.”

Spartacus shrugged her off before going over to his wife and wrapping his arms around her. “And how is my beautiful wife?”

Sura smiled and kissed her husband. “Good, and my husband isn’t working too hard tonight, is he?”

Spartacus shook his head. “Don’t worry, you will get your New Year’s kiss.”

The two kissed and there were ‘awws’ all around. “Get some!” Lugo called out, already on his second glass of champagne. Spartacus flipped him off, while he kissed his wife some more.

Nasir watched them and smiled before looking over at Agron who was chatting with Donar. He hoped that one day, he and Agron would be just like his parents. Agron turned and looked at him, smiling softly. Nasir smiled back. ‘Maybe we’re already there,’ he thought.

Agron walked over and sat down next to him. “Enjoying yourself?”

Nasir nodded, taking a drink of his pop. “Yep.”

“Care to go somewhere with me for a second?” Agron asked, winking.

Nasir smiled and followed Agron to an empty room. As soon as the door was shut, Nasir pushed Agron against the wall and kissed him. Agron wrapped his arms around Nasir and pulled him close, kissing him back.

Lost in each other, they didn’t hear the door open, but they did hear the gasps of shock. The two of them broke away from each other to see Saxa and Mira staring at them, eyes wide. Mira finally had some sense and grabbed her wife’s hand. “We can find another room, wifey,” Mira said, pulling Saxa out of the room and closed the door.

Agron and Nasir looked at each other before they both burst out into giggles. Nasir pulled Agron down for another kiss. “Saxa won’t keep this secret for long.”

“No she won’t,” Agron replied. He took Nasir’s hand in his, nodding towards the door. “Shall we?”

Nasir shook his head. “No, let’s just stay in here a little longer,” Nasir replied, pulling Agron down for another kiss. After a couple of deep kisses, Nasir pulled back and looked into Agron’s eyes. “I want you to come over tonight.”

Agron smiled. “I will.”

They shared another kiss before they pulled away from one another. Nasir fixed his ponytail, which had been messed up because of Agron’s fingers, and they made their way out of the room. Nasir reached out and took Agron’s hand. Maybe it was about time everyone else found out.

Nobody said anything when they walked back to the party hand in hand, but there were smiles all around. They sat down and Agron wrapped an arm around Nasir’s waist, as Nasir rested his head on Agron’s shoulder.

Nasir glanced at the clock to see that there were ten more minutes left until the New Year. “You’re right,” Nasir said quietly enough for only Agron to hear. “I need to be strong to heal from what happened to me.” He lifted his head and looked up at Agron. “That’s my resolution, and I want you to be there for me.”

Agron smiled and pressed a kiss to Nasir’s forehead. “I want nothing more than to be at your side, Nasir. I’m happy for you.”

As the countdown began, many of the couples were already close and kissing. When the countdown hit zero, Nasir kissed Agron softly. Agron kissed back, cupping Nasir’s cheek and keeping him close.

When they broke apart, Nasir was smiling. Agron smiled back and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Happy New Year’s, Nasir.”

“Happy New Year’s, Agron.”

The party wound down an hour later, and everyone cleaned up as much as the off-duty cops and spouses left the building, making their way back home.

After they made it back to Nasir’s apartment, Nasir took Agron’s hand and led him to the bedroom after they removed their coats and shoes.

Nasir pulled Agron into his arms and kissed him as he kicked the bedroom door shut. His hands wandered down Agron’s sides and slipped under his shirt. Agron’s abs flexed as Nasir’s fingers lightly brushed over them. Agron took his shirt off and tossed it aside, looking down and watching Nasir’s hands explore.

When those hands moved lower and started to unzip his jeans that he gently took Nasir’s wrist, stopping him. “Are you sure about this?” Agron asked. Since Agron gave Nasir his first blowjob, they hadn’t touched or done anything else sexually. “Do you really want this?”

Nasir nodded. “I used to fantasize about you, I mean I still do, but I’ve wanted this for a while now. I want you.”

Agron let out a shaky breath and let go of Nasir’s hands. “Ok. I just-I don’t want to scare you away.”

Nasir smiled softly as he pushed down Agron’s jean. “You won’t.”

Agron stepped out of his jeans and boxers, leaving him completely naked and vulnerable. Nasir’s eyes wandered over his body and he took his time to touch and look. Agron remembered Nasir saying he had never had a healthy relationship before, which probably meant that he never had a chance to do this.

Agron just stood there and let Nasir do as he pleased; telling himself that he was ok with being the only one naked in the room. Nasir’s hand slipped down Agron’s stomach and wrapped around his cock, making Agron suck in a breath.

Nasir tilted his head and smiled as he looked down at the cock in his hand. His touch was light and it made Agron even more aroused. Slowly, Nasir stroked him, his other hand moving down to play with Agron’s balls.

Agron spread his legs a little bit to allow Nasir a little more access. Closing his eyes, he focused on Nasir’s touch. He had experience with this kind of thing, that Agron could tell, but there was also a bit of hesitance behind his touch.

Then it was gone and Agron opened his eyes to watch Nasir get on his knees. Nasir seemed a little uncomfortable as he reached out for Agron’s cock again and Agron stopped him. “Only do it if you want to. I won’t be mad.”

Nasir looked up at him. “You won’t be?”

Agron shook his head and took Nasir’s hand, helping him back up. “I love blowjobs, but I won’t make my partner give me one, and you seem like you really don’t like to give them.”

“I don’t.”

“And you don’t have to,” Agron said softly, leaning in and kissing Nasir. His hands moved down Nasir’s side and started to slowly push his shirt up. “Only do what you feel comfortable doing.”

Nasir nodded and took his shirt off, tossing it aside before kissing Agron. Agron wrapped his arms around Nasir and pulled him flush against him. His skin was warm and soft against his own. There was slight flush to Nasir’s skin, barely noticeable in the dull lamp light.

He slid his hands around to Nasir’s chest and slowly moved them down Nasir’s chest. Nasir was so skittish at times; he ended up keeping his hands to himself the most of the time, so to be allowed to do this, it was incredible.

Nasir unzipped his jeans and pushed them down before removing his boxers. He took a step back and Agron could see that Nasir was shaking slightly, proof that he was just as nervous as he was. Hesitantly, Agron reached out and touched Nasir’s chest. “Is this ok?”

Nasir nodded and Agron put his other hand on Nasir’s chest and slowly explored. His skin was so soft and smooth, sparse hair covered his chest and stomach. The only imperfection was the scar on Nasir’s chest. He had noticed it a few times but when he questioned, Nasir just went quiet.

He brushed his fingers over it. Nasir flinched and pushed Agron’s hand away from it. “Please don’t touch that,” Nasir whispered. Agron nodded and loosely wrapped his arms around Nasir’s waist. “You are so beautiful,” Agron said, and watched as Nasir’s face grew redder. He pressed a gentle kiss to Nasir’s forehead. “The most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on.” He gently kissed Nasir’s lips before pulling away. “Do you have condoms and lube?”

Nasir nodded. “In the nightstand.”

Agron walked over to it and opened the drawer, he tore a condom off the roll in there and set it on the nightstand before grabbing the lube. He looked over at Nasir who had got on his knees on the bed.

Agron got on the bed. “Turn around.”

Nasir slowly turned, so he was lying on his back. There was a look of confusion on his face. “I don’t-I never-the others they…”

“It’s ok,” Agron replied, he laid over Nasir and kissed him gently. “I’m not like them.”

Agron kissed him again and they continued to kiss for several minutes. When they broke apart, Agron smiled down at him. “How do you want to do this? You want to top, or do you want me to?”

Nasir just stared at him. “What?”

“Do you want to be top or bottom?”

“No one has ever asked me that before,” Nasir said.

Agron raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

Nasir nodded. “I’ve always been the smaller one, so-”

“So you were on bottom,” Agron finished. “I’m not like that. I can be top or bottom.”

Nasir smiled. “You really are different from all the others.”

Agron smiled back. “And you’re different from everyone else I’ve dated.”

Nasir reached up and pulled Agron down for a kiss. “I have never topped before, so maybe we could try it another time?”

Agron nodded with a smile. “Another time.”

Agron kissed Nasir again and they continued to kiss for several minutes. When they finally broke apart, both of them were smiling. Agron pressed a gentle kiss to Nasir’s forehead as he reached for the lube and popped the cap, coating his fingers.

He slipped his hand under Nasir and slid his fingers along Nasir’s crack. Nasir tensed up and Agron noticed. He stopped for the moment and kissed Nasir again. “If you want to stop at any time, just tell me.”

Nasir nodded. “I’ll tell you.”

Agron kissed Nasir again as he slipped one finger inside of him. Nasir groaned and closed his eyes. It had been so long since he had last had sex. He tried to focus on that fact that Agron was gentle and actually making sure Nasir was ready.

By the time Agron pulled his fingers out, Nasir wasn’t as tense. There was a kiss pressed to Nasir’s cheek and he opened his eyes to look up at Agron. Agron wiped at the tears that had formed. “Do you want me to stop?”

Nasir shook his head. “No. I want this.”

Agron nodded. “Just remember what I told you,” Agron said as he grabbed the condom off the nightstand. He put it on and lubed up before wrapping Nasir’s legs around his waist. Nasir just laid back and watched him. Agron smiled down at Nasir. “I love you, Nasir.”

Nasir smiled back. “I know.”

“You sure you’re ready for this?”

Nasir nodded. “Yes.”

Agron slowly thrust inside of Nasir and Nasir grunted, clutching at the bed sheets. Agron leaned down and kissed him until he was all the way in. They laid there for a few minutes, panting and breathing each other in.

Nasir wrapped his arms around Agron and kissed him. “Move.”

Agron set a slow pace as he thrust in and out of Nasir, moaning softly. Nasir on the other hand was quiet, his nails biting into Agron’s back, trying his hardest to push thoughts of his past out of his mind. But as Agron started to thrust faster, the past came back to him and memories of what happened bombarded him.

Nasir could feel the others on him. The touches he hated. The pain the others put him through. The humiliation and fear that he had felt.

Tears started to leak down his face and he pushed at Agron’s chest, suddenly desperate to get him off of him. “Stop! Agron stop! Please!”

Immediately, Agron pulled out and rolled off of Nasir, scared and worried. “Are you ok? Did I hurt you?”

Nasir shook his head as he turned away from Agron and curled into himself. His body started to shake and tears rolled down his face. “I’m sorry. I thought I was ready for this, but I’m not.” He cried harder and squeezed his eyes shut, completely ashamed of himself. “I’m so sorry Agron.”

Agron reached out to touch Nasir, but placed his hand on the bed instead. “It’s ok, Nasir. It’s ok.”

“No it’s not!” Nasir said. “I’m fucked up, Agron. You deserve better.”

“No, don’t say that,” Agron said. “Please don’t say that. I love you. I could care less about sex. I could go forever without it if it meant you were still with me.”

“I couldn’t do that to you, Agron.”

“And I couldn’t leave you,” Agron whispered, reaching out again and touching Nasir’s shoulder. Nasir flinched, but didn’t make any move to remove it.

Nasir was quiet for a moment before whispering. “I-I need to be alone right now.”

Agron closed his eyes, his heart breaking. He nodded to himself and got off the bed, grabbing a pair of sleep pants out of the dresser. “I will be in the front room if you need me.”

Nasir didn’t answer. Agron left the room and closed the door, before going into the bathroom. He slipped the condom off himself and tossed it into the small trash by the sink. He meant what he said to Nasir, he could go forever without sex. He just wanted to be by Nasir’s side.

He washed his face and pulled on the sleep pants and making his way to the front room. He figured he would be sleeping on the couch and pulled a couple of blankets and a pillow out of the hall closet. He lay down on the couch, but sleep did not come to him.

__________________________________________

 

Nasir woke up cold and alone the next morning. Remembering the previous night, he wanted to just start crying all over again. Slowly, he got out of bed and pulled on a pair of pants and a shirt that was way too big for him before looking at the empty spot that would have been occupied by Agron, had he not freaked out.

His chest ached and he made his way to the front room, feeling sure that Agron had left. Instead, he found himself surprised; Agron was asleep on the couch, covers pulled tightly around him. Nasir looked at him for a long moment before he went into the kitchen and started up the coffee maker.

The smell of coffee must have woken Agron, because a few minutes later, the German was walking into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. Nasir looked at him over his shoulder. “Agron, listen-“

“It’s alright, Nasir. Don’t worry about it,” Agron walked over and pressed a gentle kiss to Nasir’s cheek. “We will talk about it later.”

“I just-I didn’t think you would be here when I woke up.”

“It’s going to take a lot more than that to scare me off, Nasir,” Agron said, trying his best to keep his hands to himself. He really didn’t know how Nasir would react. “I care about you. I love you.”

Nasir nodded. “I know. I know you do.”

Agron smiled softly and grabbed a coffee mug out of the cupboard. “Are you hungry?” Nasir nodded. “Mind if I cook us something?”

Nasir shook his head. “I don’t mind.” He made his coffee and went into the front room, turning the TV on. There was a rerun of Supernatural on and he flipped to it, watching it as he slowly sipped on his coffee and Agron cooked them some breakfast.

When Agron was finished, he brought two plates out into the front room and handed one to Nasir. They ate in silence, a considerable amount of space between them on the couch.

_____________________________________________

 

Nasir sat on the edge of the windowsill in his bedroom, watching as the children played in the small park across the street. How he longed for a chance to be a kid again, and to have had the luxury of playing at a park.

His phone, which had been playing music, went quiet for a second before his ringtone was blaring. Sighing, he stood up and set his camera down before picking up his phone to look at the name on the screen. He set it back down when he saw it was Agron before going back to the window.

He opened the window and snapped a few pictures of the children playing, the lighting perfect from where he was sitting. He turned the camera towards an old willow tree near his apartment, and snapped a few pictures of it, the sunlight glistening off the snow and icicles covering it.

Nasir almost dropped his camera when he heard a knock on the door. He thought about ignoring it but instead, set his camera down once more before leaving his room and walking up to the front door. He glanced through the eyehole to see Agron and frowned.

It had been a month since the incident at New Year’s and Nasir had tried his best to ignore Agron. He couldn’t face the disappointment. He didn’t want to see Agron angry with him.

He just stood there for a few minutes, debating on whether or not to open the door, when there another knock, this time softer. “I know you’re in there Nasir,” Agron’s voice was quiet, like he knew Nasir was right against the door. “And I-I just wanted to check up on you. I know you don’t want to see me, but I just want to make sure you’re ok.”

Nasir reached out for the doorknob, but pulled his hand back. He couldn’t let Agron in. Enough of his walls had been broken down. He couldn’t let the last once fall. He placed his hand against the door.

He stood there for several minutes, being as quiet as possible. He could never have a normal life. Why should he even pretend? He closed his eyes and leaned against the door. Trying to ignore the voice in his head that reminded him how safe he felt when Agron was holding him.

‘You still freaked out when he tried to fuck you,’ the other voice told him. A tear slipped down his face and he bit back a sob. ‘He’s better off without you.’

Agron slumped against the other side of the door. Was he being too forceful? Did he need to back off? Nasir had been avoiding him and it was hurting him. Was it hurting Nasir as well? Agron wiped a couple of tears away. “I love you,” Agron called out, placing his hand against the door, hoping that Nasir was listening. “And when you’re ready, you know where to find me.”

With a deep breath, Agron stepped back and turned away from the door. He was about to walk towards the stairs when the door slowly creaked open. Agron turned back around to see Nasir peeking through and looking at him.

Slowly, Agron moved back towards the door. “Nasir.”

The door opened the rest of the way and Nasir stepped aside to let Agron in. Once Agron stepped inside, Nasir closed the door, but wouldn’t turn to face his boyfriend. Agron stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do or say.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Nasir took a deep breath and turned around to face Agron. “I-I think it’s time we talked,” Nasir said. “About my past.”

“I think I got a general idea,” Agron said. “You don’t have to.”

Nasir shook his head. “No, you need to know what happened. You need to understand.”

 

“Ok.”

Nasir led Agron to the front room and sat down on the couch. Agron stood there for a moment before sitting down on the other side of the couch, not wanting to accidently send Nasir into one of his attacks.

Nasir bowed his head and closed his eyes. He took a couple of deep breaths before he began to speak. “My birth father was killed in an attack on our city five months before I was born. Three months later, my mother remarried. She couldn’t take care of herself, her parents had died and my father’s family wouldn’t acknowledge her. They never did approve of her anyways. The man she married was named Ashur and shortly after I was born he moved us to America.

“He beat my mother and raped her at times. Sometimes in front of us, that was why my brother was gone all the time. He couldn’t deal with it and nobody believed him. When I was seven, Ashur was driving us all home when he and my mother got into an argument. His focus being elsewhere, he didn’t notice the oncoming car. The crash killed my brother on impact; my mother was on life support for about a week before Ashur told them to turn the machines off.”

Nasir paused for a moment, his body shaking slightly. “The touching started a month after the crash. I had a nightmare and crawled into his bed. He usually kicked me out, but that night he lifted the covers and let me sleep in his bed. His hands wandered and when I told him to stop and that it felt weird, he told me that-that the touching would make the nightmares go away.”

Agron watched as tears started to run down Nasir’s face. Nasir wiped them away. “After that I was expected to be in his bed, unless he had a woman over. That was the only time I was allowed to sleep in my own bed. It was a year later when he invited his friends over. Not long after that, he let people sleep with me for money.”

Nasir completely broke down and put his face in his hands, his body shaking uncontrollably. Agron immediately scooted over and took Nasir into his arms. Nasir jumped but allowed the touch and buried his face in Agron’s chest and just cried.

Agron held him close and rubbed his back. “It wasn’t your fault, Nasir,” Agron whispered. “That wasn’t your fault. It should have never happened to you.”

“I lost count of how many men there were,” Nasir whispered, still shaking. “And Ashur didn’t care what they did to me. All he cared about was that they wore a condom and didn’t kill me. I-I tried to run away once, but he found me and he beat me. That was how I got my scar. One of his friends brought me home after they found me on a park bench; Ashur had been tending to a fire and turned, hitting me with the fire poker. The end of it cut me. I never felt so much pain in my life. And once I was one the ground, he continued to beat me until I no longer fought it and he raped me. Afterwards, when he was bandaging up my wounds, he told me that if I ever tried to run away again he would kill me.”

Agron closed his eyes, tears running down his own face. “How old were you then?”

“I was eleven,” Nasir replied. “It was the year after that when that thing with Naevia happened that they found out about me. Spartacus and Sura adopted me soon after.” Nasir paused for a moment. “For a few years, I was…ok, not mentally but nobody was hurting me. Then I met David when I was fifteen. He was my first boyfriend and I let him do whatever he wanted because I didn’t know any better. It lasted for a year before Spartacus came home from work one day and found him pinning me to the bed. I was crying and screaming, begging for him to stop. Spartacus pulled him off and didn’t even give him time to get dressed before he was throwing him out of the house. I had never seen Spartacus so angry before. After that I was single until you.”

Agron was quiet, trying to process everything that Nasir told him. After a few minutes, Agron pulled back slightly and lifting Nasir’s chin so their eyes locked. “You did not deserve that, Nasir,” Agron whispered. “Nobody deserves to be treated like that. Nobody.” Agron pressed a gentle kiss to Nasir’s forehead. “I love you and I would never treat you like that, nor am I ever going to allow anyone to treat you like that again.”

“You promise?”

Agron nodded, wiping Nasir’s tears away. “I promise.” He held Nasir close once more. “I will never let anyone hurt you ever again. I love you, Nasir. I love you so much.” He pressed a gentle kiss to Nasir’s lips. “I love you.”

Nasir smiled softly. “I-I love you too, Agron.”

Agron’s heart beat faster as Nasir finally said those three words to him. He smiled and held Nasir even tighter. “I was waiting for you to tell me that.” He chuckled softly and kissed Nasir’s forehead.

Nasir smiled back. “I-I’ve been scared of commitment, I think maybe that’s why I never said it,” Nasir said. “But I’ve felt it for a while now. I do love you Agron and I’m glad you came into my life.”

“I’m glad that I did too.”

When they sun came up the next day, Agron and Nasir were asleep on the couch, with Agron on his back and Nasir fast asleep on top of him, the cover that was kept over the back of the couch covering them.

Nasir was the first to awake, blinking at the sunlight shining through the windows. He yawned and stretched, chucking softly when Agron mumbled something in German and wrapped his arms tighter around Nasir in his sleep.

Nasir smiled and rested his head on Agron’s chest, tracing shapes on Agron’s skin. He had been terrified of telling Agron about his past. Terrified that Agron would leave him. To have Agron hold him and tell him that he would protect him, that made Nasir feel so much better. It made him feel truly loved for the first time in his life.

Slowly, Nasir removed himself from Agron and stretched once more before making his way to the bathroom and starting up the shower. He slipped in and sighed softly as the warm water ran over him. There was no long a horrible weight on his shoulders and he felt some of his scars beginning to heal. He knew he could move on from his past now and not be afraid to commit to someone, afraid to trust and to love.

The door to the bathroom opened a couple of minutes later. The curtain pulled back slightly. “Room for one more?”

Nasir smiled softly and nodded. Agron stripped his clothes off and got in, standing behind Nasir and wrapping his arms around his waist. A gentle kiss was pressed to his neck and Nasir let out a soft sigh. He turned his head enough to get a proper kiss. “I’m still not ready for sex,” Nasir said. “But I’m not as terrified by it now.”

Agron smiled. “It’s ok. You need time to heal and I won’t push you. I would never push you to do something you don’t want to. Take small steps and you’ll get there one day.”

“Thank you,” Nasir said. “For understanding.”

Agron just kissed him again and held him tighter. Nasir closed his eyes and focused on how safe he felt Agron’s arms and how he never wanted to leave them. “I love you, Agron.”

“I love you too, Nasir.”


	4. Epilogue: Two Years Later

“So, do you think this will get a lot of publicity?” Agron asked, leaning over the edge of the tub more.

Nasir was doing a shoot for an art festival Naevia was hosting to help promote cancer awareness. Nasir had chosen Agron as his subject and had him doing tastefully naked photos. Naevia herself was using Sura, Saxa and Mira as her subjects. All proceeds from the event would be donated to help fund cancer research.

“I hope so,” Nasir replied, snapping a picture. “Stand up, will you?”

“Babe, we talked about this,” Agron said. “No full frontal.”

“Hold your hand in front of your dick,” Nasir replied.

“But I don’t have three hands to cover myself,” Agron joked.

Nasir chucked a pillow at him, trying to hide a smile. “Do as I say.”

“Yes, sir,” Agron said, standing up and turning so his side was facing Nasir. He did as Nasir said and covered his dick with his hand. “Like this?”

“Perfect,” Nasir replied, snapping a couple of photos. “Thank you for doing this.”

“You know I’d do anything for you Mein Herz,” Agron replied, smiling. “Love you.”

“Love you too, Aggy,” Nasir replied, snapping a few more pictures. “Ok, you can step out and dry off babe. We’re done with the tub now.”

Agron got out and took the towel being handed to him. He quickly dried off before wrapping the towel around his waist. “Where would you like me now?”

Nasir looked around the room, biting his bottom lip and thinking. “Help me move that couch into better lighting.”

Once the couch was moved, Nasir had Agron lay on it. “Stretch out and relax.”

Nasir then wondered off and found a light purple sheet and draped it over Agron’s waist so it only covered his privates. “Look at me, babe.” Agron opened his eyes and turned his head to look at Nasir. Nasir snapped away, occasionally asking him to pose a different way.

When he was done, Agron tossed the sheet aside and leaned against the back of the couch. “Can I put clothes on now?”

Nasir set his camera aside and climbed into Agron’s lap, kissing him deeply. “Not yet,” Nasir whispered. “There’s one more thing I want from you.”

Agron placed a hand on Nasir’s chest, keeping a little bit of space between them as he looked in Nasir’s eyes. “Are you sure?”

Nasir nodded. “I’m ready this time, Agron.”

Agron looked around the room. “Shouldn’t we go home?”

“I-I don’t think I can wait that long,” Nasir whispered, pressing soft kisses down Agron’s neck. “Besides, the place is locked up. No one will be here until the morning.” Nasir slipped his hand down Agron’s chest and wrapped it around the German’s cock. “Please Agron.”

Agron groaned and bucked into the touch. He had always found it hard to say no to Nasir. “I don’t think there’s lube or condoms here, babe,” Agron said.

Nasir laughed. “I forgot, you don’t know about some of the shenanigans that Crixus and Naevia get up to here. I know where she keeps the lube and I also know we both carry condoms in our wallets.”

Agron nodded after a few minutes. “Ok, ok.”

Nasir kissed him again before standing up and walking out of the room. He came back a minute later, an almost empty bottle of lube in his hands. He set it on the floor before he stripped his clothes off.

He threw them aside and stood naked in front of Agron, his body shaking slightly. They had done hand jobs, Agron has given him blowjobs and a couple other things, but that haven’t gone much further than that in the two years they had been together.

Agron reached out and took Nasir’s hands in his own. “If we do this, I want you to top.”

Nasir’s eyes widened slightly. “Why?”

“Small steps, Nasir,” Agron replied. “And I think this would go better with you topping. We can get around to you bottoming another time.” He brought one of Nasir’s hands up to his lips and kissed it gently. “Just trust me, Mein Herz.”

“Ok,” Nasir whispered.

Agron smiled up at him before lying down on the couch, legs spread. Nasir crawled over him and kissed him softly. “Are you sure you want to do this here and not at home?” Agron asked, gently pulling the hair tie out of Nasir’s hair. He ran his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair. “It might be more comfortable.”

“It might be, but if this doesn’t go right,” Nasir said. “Then I don’t want it to be in our bed. It’s dumb, but I don’t want to think about freaking out while I try to sleep at night.”

Agron nodded and pressed a kiss to Nasir’s forehead. “Ok.”

They kissed again, their hands running over one another’s bodies. Nasir moaning softly, before Agron he had never drawn pleasure from sexual acts, never dreamed that he could feel so much good from sex.

Agron’s hands came to rest on Nasir’s lower back. “Grab the lube, Nasir.”

Nasir reached onto the floor and picked up the bottle. He shifted so he was kneeling between Agron’s legs. Agron moved around so there was room for Nasir to prep him, resting one leg on the back of the couch. Nasir reached behind them and grabbed a couch pillow and placed it under Agron’s hips.

Nasir’s fingers ran across the inside of Agron’s thighs. “Sure you want to be bottom?”

“I have no preference when it comes to the bedroom, babe,” Agron replied. “I love topping and I love bottoming.”

Nasir smiled softly and popped open the lube, pouring a generous amount onto his fingers. He closed it and tossed it back on the ground before leaning over Agron and kissing him softly. “I love you,” Nasir whispered.

Agron smiled and kissed him back. “Love you too, Nasir.”

Nasir slowly slide one finger into Agron’s ass, he tried to be as careful as possible, knowing it had been a few years since Agron had bottomed. Nasir still remembered the pain from barely being prepped all those years ago. Agron grunted, his fingers curling into the couch cushions.

“Are you ok?” Nasir asked, stilling his hand.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Agron replied. “It’s just been a long time.”

“Want me to continue?”

Agron nodded. “Please.”

Nasir smiled and slowly slide his finger out before pressing it back in. Agron groaned softly and closed his eyes, resting a hand on Nasir’s knee. After a few minutes, Nasir added another finger, and by the time Nasir added a third finger, Agron was panting and precum was leaking from his cock.

Nasir used his free hand to wipe at the tip and brought the precum to his lips. He took a taste and made a face. Agron laughed, wrapping a hand around his own cock and stroking it slowly. “It’s ok, not everyone likes the taste.”

“I feel bad sometimes,” Nasir said, pumping his fingers in and out of Agron at a steady pace. “Because I only give you hand jobs.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Agron panted, stroking himself faster. He gasped as Nasir found the spot inside of him that set his skin on fire. “Oh fuck! Yeah, right there, babe! Oh Gods!”

Nasir moved his fingers faster, encouraging louder moans to escape from Agron’s lips. He could tell Agron was getting close to release and pulled his fingers out, earning a grunt of surprise. Nasir leaned over Agron and kissed him deeply, their cocks rubbed together eliciting gasps from both of them.

“I want you inside me,” Agron moaned. “I can’t wait any longer.”

Nasir nodded. “Yeah, yeah.” He leaned off the couch and grabbed his pants, pulling his wallet out. He grabbed a condom out and Agron immediately took it from him and ripped the package open. Nasir moaned as Agron slide the condom on him and gave his cock a couple of pumps.

“Fuck.” He shoved Agron’s hand away and took his cock in hand, pressing the head against Agron’s ass. Their eyes locked and slowly, Nasir thrust into Agron. They both moaned low and wantonly.

Nasir stilled once he was all the way in and took Agron’s hands in his own, pressing a kiss to one of them. Agron smiled up at him. “You doing ok?” Agron asked.

Nasir nodded. “Yes.”

“Not freaking out?”

Nasir shook his head and smiled. “Not freaking out.”

Agron brought their joined hands up to his lips and kissed both of Nasir’s. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Nasir replied. “Ready?”

Agron nodded and Nasir slowly slide out before thrusting back in. He kept a slow pace and leaned down to kiss Agron. Agron wrapped his arms around Nasir’s back and kept him close as he kissed back.

“Just a little faster,” Agron whispered against Nasir’s lips and Nasir complied, moving his hips just a little bit faster. Agron moaned and held Nasir tighter. “Yeah, yeah, just like that Nasir.” Agron starts to move to meet each thrust, his moans getting louder. “Fuck that feels so good, baby. So fucking good.”

Nasir whimpered softly. “You don’t need to be quiet Nasir. If it feels good, let me hear it,”Agron said, wrapping his legs around Nasir’s back. “I want to hear it.”

Nasir gripped Agron’s hips and started to thrust even faster into his boyfriend, small moans escaping from his lips. Nasir kept his eyes closed as he continued to thrust and it wasn’t until Agron touched his cheek that he opened them, stopping momentarily.

Agron smiled up at him and Nasir smiled back. Nasir took Agron’s hand and gently kissed his knuckles. “Can-can you ride me?” Nasir asked, his cheeks flushing even more red.

Agron’s eyes widened, but he nodded. “Yeah, it’ll be hot.”

The couple shifted so Nasir was lying on his back. Agron straddled his boyfriend’s hips and slowly slide onto Nasir’s cock, moaning loudly when Nasir bucked his hips up. Agron immediately started a quick rhythm.

Nasir felt his skin heat up and his fingers curled into the skin of Agron’s thighs. He moaned, quietly at first, but as Agron started to ride him faster, he couldn’t help but to get louder. Agron leaned over Nasir and gripped the armrest, using it as leverage to rock back.

Nasir’s hands wandered back to Agron’s hips, stilling them as he started to thrust up and pound into Agron. Agron gasped, his body shaking. “Fuck,” Agron moaned. “Fuck! Fuck!” He started to pant, his cock leaking. He wrapped a hand around it and stroked himself fast. “God, you’re so fucking good Nasir.” He started babbling as a heat washed over him. One of Nasir’s hands joined his and together they brought Agron to release. “Nasir!” Agron called out, coming all over his boyfriend’s chest, a couple drops even hitting Nasir’s chin. Nasir flinched, but made no other move to acknowledge it.

Agron couldn’t keep himself up any longer and collapsed on top of Nasir who continued to thrust into him. Nasir kissed him, his fingers digging into Agron’s skin hard enough to bruise. He moaned into their kisses, fucking Agron as faster and harder, until he was coming.

Nasir gasped as he came, his hips stilling. He looked up at Agron with wide eyes, finding it hard to believe that this wasn’t just another one of his dreams. With shaky hands, he cupped Agron’s face and kissed him. “Wow…”

Agron smiled against Nasir’s lips. “Good?”

“Better than I thought,” Nasir replied. “I-I never felt like that before.”

“That’s what happens when you’re with someone you love,” Agron replied and kissed him again. “Makes sex fucking fantastic.”

Nasir let out a shaky laugh. “Yeah, yeah it does.” Nasir closed his eyes and sighed happily. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Nasir.”

Nasir slowly pulled out of Agron. “I’m tired now,” He said with a laugh.

Agron chuckled and the couple shifted so Agron was pressed against the back of the couch and Nasir pressed against his front, the sheet previously discarded now covering them as they snuggled.

Agron ran his fingers through Nasir’s hair, smiling. “We probably shouldn’t sleep here.”

“Sure we can,” Nasir replied. “Place is closed up and I’m sure Naevia won’t mind with all the times I’ve come in to find her and Crixus asleep on the couch, or somewhere else.”

Agron closed his eyes. “Ok, but I don’t want to be getting in trouble.”

“We won’t. Just go to sleep,” Nasir replied, pressing a kiss to Agron’s lips. “Love you.”

“Love you too, babe.”


End file.
